As couples you are good matches for each other
Sun Myung Moon
March 19, 2012
Hoon Dok Hae
Cheongpyeong, Korea 2.27 H.C
If there are any of you men who came with your wives, or women who came with your husbands, then please come forward.
[Those who came as husband and wife went to stand at the front of the room.]
Did you marry each other (of your own accord), or did Teacher (match you and) give you the Blessing?
[They respond that Teacher (Father) gave them the Blessing.]
As couples you are good matches for each other.
If you’ve been in the Unification Church for 30 years or 40 years, then you must have done a lot of witnessing. You would have a lot of experiences from witnessing.
Now, with all the witnessing you have done, you have enough experience to write your own autobiographies, as couples.
I’m saying that we should try to make it so that each of you writes on the topic that you are most comfortable with.
(It’s an opportunity to) ask each other who did a better job. You should compare yourselves to each other at least once… once every ten years.
Instead of always living the same way as before, you need to change your mode of living from time to time.
If you were living in the East, try living in the West, try living in the South, try living in the North and try living in the center.
In cases where you live in a certain neighborhood, think about how you rank in your neighborhood.
Are you an integral part of your neighborhood, or not?
And you have to decide which families in your neighborhood bring hope for the future and can become good examples.
Therefore, did you marry off all of your children?
[The brother in the front responds that only his two sons have received the Blessing.]
Your two sons. Did you marry them off?
[He responds that he did marry off his sons but not his daughter(s).]
So you did marry off your sons.
In the future, I would like it if we only gather with Blessed Families.
We should make a place for public debate where the families gather with however many children they have. There, we should tell everyone else why we are proud of our fathers, our mothers, our sons…
Parents who have sons and daughters they can be proud of are happy parents.
It is truly difficult to raise even one person well.
Ladies and Gentlemen, your life of faith was difficult, right?
Our lives of faith do not simply occur as we would like them to.
When you walk forward, if your way is blocked by a mountain, then you [cannot simply tell the mountain to go away.] Each mountain has its own personality.
In the same way, since your sons and daughters each have their own personality, you have to take special care of each child’s personality. You have to think about which trees, what kinds of vegetation and what kind of water you will use to build your garden. Everyone needs to do this kind of work to decorate [his or her] village.
So… Have you gone out as couples to witness?
[One sister responded, “Yes, we witnessed together for two years in our mission area. After receiving the Blessing, we witnessed in our mission area.”]
You probably all have experiences of going out and witnessing.
No matter where a person goes, the person will either become a follower or a leader. [So you have to ask yourself whether you will be a follower or a leader.]
If you are going to be a follower, then the question is, “who will you follow?”
You may have elder siblings, younger siblings, uncles (and aunts), so which of those families should you follow?
You should always be thinking about these things. The question is, “what do you need to do in order to follow?”
What have you done, and what have you left behind?
If you leave your sons and daughters behind, then the question is, “what have you left behind for your sons and daughters?”
You all need to know how to write autobiographies… once every ten years.
[Mother sings Skylark and Father joins in for some parts of the song.]
[After the song is over, Father says,] Men’s voices and women’s voices are different, you know. Rather than [always] singing together, [a husband and wife] should sometimes take turns, singing different verses or different parts of each verse. While they do so, they should smile at each other and be able to say, “Wow, you sing like that but I can sing like this.” Sometimes they should laugh as they look at each other’s faces, and in such times they should hold each other’s hands, kiss the other on the lips… You need to create many similar situations.
You never know when you might be separated from one another even though you are together right now. If you do separate, you may not know whether the Unification Church was real or just a dream.
When we gather like this, what are we trying to leave behind?
What are we trying to leave behind through this?
You have to leave something behind.
With whatever talents or skills you have… you should all write songs and do similar things, OK?
So, now those members who went out and suffered for 10 years or suffered for 20 years should each write a song and it should be included among the Holy Songs.
[Father and Mother sing one of their favorite songs together. It’s a song about one’s hometown and Father refers to his hometown as the “northern area” and says that it has now been 70 years since he was in his hometown.]
[Shin Jun Nim gives Father a kiss.]
Are you going to school?
[Shin Jun Nim responds, “Yes, I am.”]
You have to go?
[Shin Jun Nim responds, “Yes.”]
Let Mommy walk you out. Mommy, you should walk him out. [To Shin Jun Nim] Bye. See you when you get home!
[Shin Jun Nim responds, “Yes.”]
Surely, you sometimes fight among husband and wife, but you need to sometimes sing together as well.
Sometimes you do fight one another, right?
Do you know the right way for a husband and wife to fight?
Sometimes you have to fight.
In order to understand what kind of person your husband is, you need to sometimes fight with him, sometimes make love with him, and sometimes travel with him.
You can go somewhere [with your spouse] and say, “Honey, you go and get something from that store. I will go to this store and get something. Let’s see who gets the better item!” [Or you can just say,] “Lady, I’m going to this store. Please wait a second.” “Sir, I’m going to get something. Please wait for me.”
And in that way, go to the store, get the best item… I’m not saying to steal it! You’re just saying that you will be right back.
And moreover, you can tell the store owner that your husband asked you to get the item because he likes it. The owner may even let you just take it out of joy! Or you can say to the owner, “Your family is a good family and since you own this store, I will buy the most precious items from this store.” When you create situations like that, you can even make friends, right?
Five items. Five cheap items and five expensive items. Ten [altogether.] “OK, I’ll pick the expensive items and you pick the cheap items.” Then you swap items, check the prices and you can go out and sell the items for more. If you make some money as a result, then wouldn’t you be able to buy lunch if you weren’t able to buy lunch before?
You have to know how to live like that as well.
You have to know how to be fed by others. You also need to be able to treat others. You have to know the right way to greet others. That kind of thing.
Note: These notes are taken from a Peace TV video clip. They cannot be published as definitive texts and should never be used in the future as an “official” publication of True Father’s words. However, they do provide a good idea of the “spirit” of the message. — Rev. Katsumi Kambashi
Mrs. McDevitt read Father’s speech from the Sermons of the Rev. Moon #45, titled “Let’s Establish Tradition,” given on July 1st, 1971.
“Those who have spouses with you here, come to the front. (There were four couples). (To them) Did you get married by yourselves or did I Bless you? (‘Father gave us the Blessing.’) I have brought you well together as husbands and wives. (Laughter) Now you need to be able to write your autobiography together with your spouse, sharing with each other the themes to write. Actually, every ten tears, you should compare yourself with your spouse to decide which one was better during the period. You should be different rather than living the same life. If you lived in the east, you need to have the experience of living in the west, south and north. Also, you should examine if you became the person who is necessary in the village you live in, and if your family became the roll model and hope for the village. (To the four couples) Do you have children and were they already married?
From now on I would like to have gatherings where Blessed families are together and they boast about their fathers, mothers and children with each other. Parents who can be proud of their children are happy parents. It is really difficult to raise a person rightfully. You have had difficulties in your life of faith, haven’t you? It is the life of faith that one can’t do as they please. If a mountain blocks you in your path, you can’t do with the mountain as you want. It is because the mountain has its own character. Likewise, each of your children has their own distinct individuality, and you should be able to polish their characters as if you were making a beautiful garden raising a variety of trees and piping water.
You must become one of the two kinds anywhere you go, either you lead the whole or you follow the leader. Do you follow your elder brother, younger brother, your parents, or your uncles? In deciding to whom you should follow, you need to see what they have done or left behind.
You should be able to write your autobiography every 10 years.”
Mother, while standing, sang “모내기 노래,” [Planting Song] and Father, sitting and holding her right hand, joined her in singing.
“노고지리 앞서 가자
해가 뜨는 이 벌판
해가 지는 이 벌판
강소굴레 풍경 소리
자고 깨는 농부야
어서 가자 어서 가”
[Let’s go ahead nogojiri
Two fields of the rising sun
Let’s go to the lantern
Two fields of the sunset
Jiangsu confines sworn
Let’s break nongbuya
Saecheonjie new country
Let’s go, let’s go]
Father asked Mother, “Is there a 2nd verse?” and She replied, “No, there isn’t” (Laughter / Applause)
“The voices of man and woman are different, and you sing together with your spouse changing tones of harmony, seeing each other, smiling, holding their hands and kissing each other. You should have many of those kinds of moments in your life. (To the four couples) What do you want to leave behind? You should go (to the spirit world) leaving something behind you. Based on your personality and ability, you should be able to write a song, for example. From now on, I would like members who worked for 10 years or 20 years to write holy songs.”
Mother sang ‘가고파,[GaGoPa]” and Father joined her again in singing.
내 고향 남쪽 바다 그 파란 물이 눈에 보이네
꿈엔들 잊으리오 그 잔잔한 고향 바다
지금도 그 물새들 날으리 가고파라 가고파.
어릴 제 같이 놀던 그 동무들 그리워라.
어디 간들 잊으리오 그 뛰놀던 고향 동무
오늘은 다 무얼 하는고 보고파라 보고파.
그 물새 그 동무들 고향에 다 있는데
나는 왜 어이타가 떠나 살게 되었는고
온갖 것 다 뿌리치고 돌아갈까 돌아가.
가서 한데 얼려 옛날같이 살고지고
내마음 색동옷 입혀 웃고 웃고 지내고자
그 날 그 눈물 없던 때를 찾아가자 찾아가.
[My home water is the blue eyes I see the South Seas
Endless dream of that calm ocean home and forget Rio
Of those birds go and fly now GaGoPa para.
As a child I used to play that Comrades geuriwora.
Forget Rio gandeul home where his comrade ttwinoldeon
Today the Savior and to see what it bogopa para.
Comrades at home all those birds, which he
Hey, why am I was living hereof other leave
Will all go back to work to hit the roots.
Once frozen, live together and go together
EF saekdongot do mine dressed smiling smiling
We’ll get unexpected tears when he visited that day.]
“The thing is that husbands and wives sometimes fight but they need to have time to sing songs together. You have all fought sometime, haven’t you? Do you know how to fight as husbands or wives? (Nobody answered.)”
다음은 아버님 말씀의 일부분입니다.
여기 남자들 가운데 아내가 오든가 아내 가운데 남자가 왔으면 한번 나와 봐요.「부부가 온 사람 있으면. (어머님)」자기들끼리 결혼했나, 선생님이 축복을 해줬나?「아버님이 해주셨습니다.」부처끼리 다 잘 맞췄네. (웃음)
우리는 전도를 30년 40년 했으면 경험을 참 많이 한 셈이라구. 많이 하고 자기들이 경력도 이제 자서전을 쓸 수 있게 부처끼리 당신이 이런 테마를 중심삼고 쓰고, 나는 이렇게 쓰고, 맞춰보자 이거지. 누가 잘했나. 그것도 한번 일생이면 10년에 한 번씩 비교해야 됩니다.
언제나 그렇게 사는 것보다도 색달라야지. 동쪽에서 살아봤으면 서쪽도 살아보고, 남쪽도 살아보고 북쪽도 살아보고 중앙도 살아보고. 동네가 섞어 사는 데는 내가 동네에 사는 그 모든 사람들 앞에 몇 째쯤 되는 사람이야? 이 동네에 필요한 사람이야 이 동네에 필요치 않는 사람이야? 그래가지고 그 동네에 앞으로 희망 있는 가정이 누구다. 본 될 수 있는 가정이 누구다.
그렇기 때문에 다 결혼들 다 시켰나? 아들딸들.「아들딸 있어? (어머님)」「예. 아들 둘만 축복 받쳤습니다.」아들 둘. 다 결혼시켰어?「예. 딸은 아직 못했습니다.」아들은 시키고?「아들만 했습니다.」
앞으로는 이제 축복가정들만, 우리 그렇게 모이면 좋겠어. 아들 몇이 딸이 몇이, 그래가지고 그 엄마 아빠 중심삼아서 가정끼리 공개적인 이런 토론장을 만들어서 우리 아버지 자랑, 엄마 자랑, 아들 자랑에, 부모들이 자랑할 수 있는 아들딸 가진 거 그거 행복한 부모입니다. 사람 하나 잘 기르기가 참 힘든 거예요.
여러분들, 신앙생활이 어렵지요? 신앙생활이 자기 마음대로 안 되는 거야. 앞에 걸어가게 되면 산이 가로막히면 그 산이 내 마음대로 할 수 있는 산이야? 산은 산대로 개성이 있습니다. 그와 마찬가지로 아들딸도 개성을 있어요. 그 개성을 잘 다듬어줘야 돼. 거기에 무슨 나무 무슨 초목을 심어야 되는지 거기는 물이 어떤 물이 흐르는지, 그것도 다 해가지고 동산을 만들어갈 수 있는 마을을 꾸려갈 수 있는 이런 놀음도 해봐야 돼요.
그렇기 때문에 다 부처끼리들 나가 전도 해봤나?「예, 임지에서 한 2년동안 전도를 했습니다. 우리 축복받고 임지 나가서 전도했습니다.」다 나가 전도들을 한 경험들이 있을 거예요. 그 사람은 어디 가든지 자기가 따라가는 사람이 되겠느냐 지도하는 사람이 되겠느냐 둘 중에 하는 되어야 돼요. 따라가면 누구를 따라가나 이거야. 형님이 형님이 있고 동생은 동생이 있고 삼촌들도 있는데 그 가정들 가운데서 누구를 따라가야 되느냐. 언제든지 그런 생각해요.
따라갈 수 있기 위해서는 무엇을 했나 하는 문제입니다. 무엇을 했나 무엇을 남겼느냐. 아들딸을 남기고 아들딸한테 내가 무엇을 남겨줬느냐. 그게 자서전을 전부 다 쓸 줄 알아야 됩니다. 10년에 한번씩.