Original Family And The Family Of Today
Reverend Sun Myung Moon
March 8, 1987
Translator – Sang Kil Han
The human race is composed of men and women. There are elderly people, middle-aged people, youths, children, and infants. They all have many different relationships, both on the horizontal and the vertical levels. People all make daily judgments about what is good and what is bad. What are those judgments based on? Our judgment of good and bad is based upon our relationships, including those between men and women.
There are many different kinds of relationships. The vertical relationship involves the grandparents and grandchildren, parents and children. How do they connect in an ideal way and live together harmoniously? This is the most important question. All good and evil spring from this point. The best thing a man can hope for, and what all people want, is to become the embodiment of the good parent, the good grandparent, and so on.
What is an original family, one that is free of fallen nature? Philosophy and other serious areas of study, including religion, are trying to discover the original nature of man and the family. Human beings are complex and hard to understand, so philosophers have dedicated their lives to studying human nature. Once we discover the original human nature, however, we cannot just stop there. We must live according to the original way of life.
Today there are billions of families living on the earth, yet they all began with only one family, the first ancestors. That one family multiplied and expanded throughout the fallen world. The original family, the one which is free of fallen nature, must have a value equal with the entire world. That is how valuable they are.
The spirit world, the physical world, God and mankind were meant to dwell in harmony and unity. In order for all these elements to harmonize, there must be a common base which, we know, is the original family. What would this original family be like? It would be the family where God can not only visit but also dwell. God would express His ideas through that family. Above all, God would love that family. It would deserve God’s praise, “Yes, this is the best family in the entire universe.”
Other people would look at that family and say the same thing. Men and women would say, “This is the best family. All ideals can be passed on through them.” All people would strive to be connected to that family. Wherever they went, everybody else would want to go. This would happen with people in both this world and the spiritual world. Everyone would rejoice when that family rejoices, weep when they weep, move when they move. The original family, then, is the central connecting point of the whole universe.
Even God would like to be dominated, in a sense, by that family. God would want them to take the initiative so that He could go along with them and be happy. Just stop to think about it. If God has to initiate everything and is the central point of all things and all movement, then He cannot truly share with humanity. There can be no equality, since God is God and not man. But if a human family can take initiative, all other people can do that too, because they have the same capabilities and are in the same situation.
Imagine if God said to Adam and Eve, Y know more than you do, so we cannot be equal.” God not only knows more than everybody else, He is also omnipotent, capable of things far beyond what humans can do. Then what a sad world if God said, “I am far more powerful than you human beings, and that is what is truly important.”
But God did not create with that intention. Far more than power or knowledge, God values love. Based on this love, subject and object attain true equality. That is the way in which God and human beings can become equal. No one, including God, wants to dwell beyond love. Everyone, including God and all mankind, wants to be under the dominion of love.
When true love is at the center of the universe, all beings want to come to the center. Grandparents, parents, children, as well as God and the rest of the universe want to dwell at the center with love. Everyone would like to get as close as possible to each other there. Like potatoes connected to the same vine, everybody is connected to the universal center.
True, there is a hierarchy. There is God and there are elders-ancestors, grandparents, parents, and so on. But the vertical relationship alone cannot create equality and the ideal. It is the horizontal relationship which makes equality possible. This morning’s topic is the family of the original nature. What is that family going to be like?
We all have five senses. As soon as we are born and begin to perceive things, we reach out to this world. After men grow to adulthood, they search everywhere for the one thing they need most. The conclusion they reach is that they are looking for and hoping for a woman. The same is true of women. A girl is born and grows up looking and studying the world. She finally comes to the conclusion that she needs a man. A man and a woman need each other. When they meet, it is the fulfillment of all of life’s waiting.
Once they meet, do they begin fighting? No, when they meet, their eyes must also meet and have the same focal point. They see, hear and smell the same things. They enjoy touching each other. All five senses are in harmony between that man and woman. They become one in perfect unity. That state of union between a man and woman is the apex of all the effort and energy of the universe. The union between man and woman is what the universe exists for.
Why did God divide the world into male and female? Why isn’t there just one sex? Men and women are different, but when they come together, horizontal unity is formed and in that way they become equal. Where exactly is the ideal place for them to meet? Should the man assert himself, claiming, “Since I am the subject, you should come and unite with me”? Or should the woman say that to the man? Suppose God said, “I am the Supreme Being, so everyone should come to me.”
Given all the different possibilities, where should they meet? Let them meet at a point closest to all of them. Where exactly is that? Yes, it is at the center. The central point on a straight line is an equal distance from each end. Where will we put love? Would we put love closer to either end of the line? No, let us put it right at the center. Love is the central point.
Why should a man move to the center instead of trying to pull everybody to him? It is because at the center he can meet both God and woman, and then love can begin-he can have children. God also must come to the center to find everyone. Children can say, “I am the fruit of the love of my parents, so I belong at the center.” In that case, they will find that God is their parent, too. From that central point, everything can combine into one. Then unity is established and is not lost.
Once united, every participant must respect that one focal point. Once this point is formed, even God must respect this point. The man and the woman and the children must also respect this point, which then becomes the basis for all their relationships.
Once this point is formed, God must always return to it. God, the man or the woman may not want to stay here all the time, so they may go around. But then they have to return. This will have become their permanent, eternal center. They don’t have to search anymore for God. God will be with them.
When a husband comes home and his wife is away, he asks, “Where is everybody?” The children will protest, “What do you mean? We are here.” But to a man or a woman, their spouse has that much meaning. In their absence, everything seems empty. Therefore, it is foolish to forget about love and to say, “I want to find God.” We have to find true love and then God will be there automatically. When we find true love, we will find the ideal and we will find children. When a man embodies true love, a perfect woman will find her way there.
This ideal family will be the family of God, man, woman and children. So if someone asks God, “Do You have a home?” he can say, “Sure, I do.” For God, home is where true love is. The true home is where love can stay. We often miss our home. Why is that? Home has love and therefore it has God, parents, brothers and sisters. You can find everything in the true home. The question is, who feels the deepest love among all the parties within this family? It all depends upon the individual-it is whoever makes the most meaning out of that love. Everyone rejoices centering on love.
There are three layers in our families: grandparents, parents, and ourselves. Together they can form a circle. If you have only two points, then you cannot make a complete circle. In groups, in a company or social organization, there are always three layers: one’s superiors, oneself, and one’s subordinates. These comprise front, center and rear. With three directions, you can have spherical movement; moving in all different directions, a sphere will eventually be formed.
As a result, the most ideal shape in all the universe is that of the sphere. It is not pointed or angular. If someone asked you the shape of love, you should be able to say instantly, “It is round.” When things are truly round, they don’t hurt each other. They don’t have any sharp edges. If you are perfect and everyone else is not perfect, they have sharp edges. When they come at you and smack you, you can turn them away with the slightest change of angle, like a ball floating in a pool of water. No matter how you poke you finger at that ball, it will just bob away.
In order to protect yourself, you have to have a spherical form. The universe itself has a spherical form. Man is only half of the spherical form, at best, and so is woman. God Himself can never form the perfect four-position foundation alone. What about the spirit world? Spirit world is one half of the perfect sphere and earth is the other half. Neither is perfect by itself
Some children really respect and love their parents but, unfortunately, they don’t care about anything or anyone else. That is a shame because they can never be perfected through the parents’ love alone. They have to have a relationship with God, which will form the four positions. There are children who love their mother a lot, but do not care much about their father. Then they only have half the sphere at best. They must also know and love their father to make this ideal sphere.
This is the basic, core formula for the universe. When the family relationship is broken, do the children go to the father’s side or the mother’s side? Where can they go to find love or happiness? Children want to attain unity with their parents eternally. Let’s assume that a person gets divorced and then marries again, with the children joining the newly formed family. That new partner can never be exactly the same as the original parent. It just doesn’t work that way.
Do children say, “My father is not handsome, so I hate him”? Or, “I wish my mother were more beautiful”? No, for a child, his father and mother are the most handsome man and the most beautiful woman in the world. Let’s say a man is disfigured in some way, so he is unhappy about it. When the children see their father’s unhappiness, they naturally try to compensate for it. “My dad is unhappy. He can’t help it if he’s disfigured. I want to console him.” God also will sympathize with the father in this situation. In the perfect unity of love, every element works for the preservation of this sphere. They don’t stop loving someone because he is ugly. They will love him even more.
The same principle is evident in the atmosphere. If there is a high pressure point somewhere, it is bound to flow into a lower pressure point. When someone is distressed, others want to console him. Why? They do it to preserve love.
The peaceful family is the beginning point of all peace. An Oriental adage says, “When a family is in perfect peace, then everything will flourish.” The Bible also says, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God.”
We have to have a basic format for our thinking. Homosexuals and lesbians are living far from this central form or idea. Whatever they might hope for can only be within their own generation. A lesbian is denying God’s will by rejecting men and family life. Where does she propose to find peace, happiness and the ideal? What basis would she have to find it? Whatever direction homosexuals face, they are desolate, destitute. They cannot find true happiness anywhere. All they find are loneliness, isolation, and despair.
When a normal man is distressed, he can look to God, and God can embrace him. At his side, his wife will console him, and his children will come and be with him. In every direction, he has a friend.
Contrary to current, vague thinking, no matter how perfect a man may seem, unless he can find a wife and form a relationship of love, he is helpless in his search for happiness. No matter how beautiful a woman may be, unless she can find the point of love with a spouse, there is absolutely no place she can find happiness. She has to find God and children. Without these elements, where would that beautiful woman go to find happiness?
You have been thinking about heaven, but what is the nature of heaven? This love is the very core of heaven. Do you understand? When people lose loved ones, as when a husband loses his wife or children lose their parents, they are in agony. Why do we feel so sad in such a case? The universal power tries to preserve the family relationship and make the ideal prosper. But if one part of that ideal form dies, then that much is lacking from this universal form. We feel sad because we want to supplement the area that was lost. That is what is expressed in our sorrow.
God cannot change this formula. God must also find that center point of love where He can reside. Some people think that if they just pray hard enough, they can find God. Maybe they can on a temporary basis, but how can they dwell with God all the rest of their lives? They cannot do that through prayer alone.
Man is composed of a masculine aspect and also a feminine aspect. A man alone does not have God and he does not have his children. There is no such thing as a perfect man by himself. The greatest man is only half of a whole if he does not have God, his wife, and his children. For women the same is true. Only after finding a spouse and coming together in love will they be perfect. Is there any justification for men to live together with men-or women with women? That is denying one’s own chance of the continuance of his existence.
When a person is born, whether male or female, that person is born for the sake of someone of the opposite sex. That is the very origin of birth. No one, not even the greatest person on earth, was born for himself. You may feel that I am a great man, but was I born for myself? I am a man and a man is born for a woman. When they come into unity and in love, they can become a father and mother. A woman may go to college to understand her life and she can study philosophy and religion, but the simple answer is that she was born for the sake of a man. That is fantastic. That is the undeniable truth.
If a woman becomes bitter toward men and despises them, always pushing them away, she puts herself in hell. What is hell? It is the universal trash can. That is where everyone must go who doesn’t have this central point of love. If some woman is on the verge of plunging down to the deepest hell, but there is one righteous man holding onto her hand saying, “I will stay with you, no matter what,” she cannot go to hell. The same is true when a woman does that for a man. It is the universal gospel that if the frail arm of a woman holds a man firmly and he clings to her, neither of them will go to hell. That is the gospel of all gospels.
Women, do you want to touch yourselves or another woman? No, you want to touch a man. What are your eyes for? To look in the mirror every morning and admire yourself and your cosmetics? No, your eyes are meant to be looking at a man, not at yourself. The reason you wear cosmetics is to make yourself look beautiful to a man, so that he will cherish you as a queen. No matter how well-decorated you are, no matter how many valuable jewels you wear and how nicely you are made up, if you are angry and hostile toward men, you are valueless. From the viewpoint of nature, a woman like that is truly worthless.
That is the Principle, isn’t it? Everything has a certain standard by which to be measured. What is the standard of love? What is the standard of happiness? If you don’t know this, then you will try very hard to find heaven, even to create heaven somewhere other than this. Then at the end of your life, you might say, “That person didn’t work as hard as I did, yet he is in heaven and I am in hell. Why?” The law of the universe dictates the way the universe develops. It does not develop according to someone’s wishes, no matter how strong that person may be. There is a formula to everything, and this is the formula of love If we pass this standard, we go to heaven. If we fail it, then we go into the trash can.
Nobody really has to teach you this. Your original mind knows it well. Even if other people try to stop you, your original mind knows what is good and you want to do it. If you become very sensitive to love, then you are in a position to know and feel everything more clearly. Your five senses will be very acute. The one who has the highest form of love has this highest frequency, this highest vibration.
Many of you have been praying hard, but when you really pour your love into your spouse and children you will automatically find God. God will want to come to you when you live like that. Instead of praying, “Come to me, God; come to our family,” living with love will be more effective. Do you Unification Church members understand?
The woman who loves her husband deeply will find God and His love. This is the place to find true love, the foundation for heavenly love. True love in the family is the center of heaven, the center of the whole universe.
Now we have a clear idea of where heaven begins and what heaven is. It should begin right here on earth, centering on each individual and his effort. Then it will expand all the way to the spirit world. That is what heaven is all about in reality.
We know that the blessed couples are the core of this would-be heavenly family. The heavenly family is not brought to you on a platter. You have to make heaven in your own family, community, nation, world, and on into spirit world. We have to make it ourselves. The practical question you have to keep asking yourself is, “Am I in unity with my spouse now?”
We are speaking today of the present family and the family of original nature. Today’s family is far from the original state of the family. The difference exists because Satan blocked every area. He erected great big walls and barriers everywhere. Therefore we must take those walls down. We must reconnect and rejuvenate everything. This is what we are doing now.
Satan prevented God’s ideal from coming into being. You can say it in hundreds of different ways, but essentially what he did was to cut people off from true love in the family. Satan worked really hard to encourage lesbian and homosexual relationships. He tried everything to prevent the original relationship of love from being formed. So nobody has passed the grade. Once someone passes the grade, then Satan can no longer reign in the world.
Why is the Unification Church necessary? It is because we are destroying Satan’s effort and bringing back the ideal. Beginning with our own family, we are expanding this influence all over the world. This is the meaning of the Unification Church’s blessed couples. When we think about the relationship between heaven and ourselves, it is rather simple. We have a formula by which to judge ourselves. You know immediately by comparing with the formula whether your family is well on its way to heaven or far from it. The Unification Church demands of each individual member that, for all of our lives, we have to work diligently to make this ideal formula a reality.
Why did God create the universe, including each of us? The answer is very clear: God created all things, including man and woman, for the sake of love. He did not create just one sex. He created male and female for the sake of the love relationship, in order to form heaven. He did not do this for the sake of art or “artistry.” He created for the sake of love. God created all things-the animals, plants, and minerals-according to the very same principle, the pair system. The universe observes human activity.
When a man works very hard, the universe will look at him and say, “He is striving to gather information and materials in order to perfect his love. He wants to provide for his family so that they can grow in love.” The universe knows that the ultimate goal of everything man does is to achieve love. The universe itself appreciates someone who works hard to provide for his family and bring this form into perfection. That is the final goal of man.
Each person works in his own way for the same common goal, to make his family more prosperous and able to stand in a leading place as examples for other families. By living this way, eventually we will rest in the place in spirit world which we deserve. We will occupy a permanent position in spirit world.
In order to live properly, we have to maintain proper relationships with the rest of the world. The animal kingdom is created to interact with human beings as its subject. God dwells with human beings, but He also has a relationship with other forms of creation.
Our family is like the training ground for heaven. We are meant to apply what we learn in our family to the rest of the world. We learn to appreciate all elderly people by loving our own grandparents. If you have an aunt who is forty years old, then you can see all the forty-year-old women in the world as your own aunt. Women can respect the men of the world just as they respect their own husband. This not only creates heaven within the family but also in the rest of the world, because each and every person respects one another. When you extend your family feeling of love into the world, the spirit world welcomes that way of life. God and the universal power protect that way because it is the base of the love of all creation.
We have been talking about a concept: the family of the original nature. We must have a clear theory before we can see it in reality. Millions of families have lived and died on earth, including Jesus’ family, but not a single family fits this pattern in the spirit world. Therefore, we must create this pattern now on earth so that we can extend it to the spirit world in the future. You can see how important this concept is and how serious a proclamation I am making to the entire universe Whether you meet this standard or not makes all the difference between heaven and hell.
We must form our families with much effort and love, not depending on help from others. Our families should unite to expand this pattern to the world. We should not expect the outside world to help us. If we do, then we cannot contribute to the world. This world is in need; we must not be the ones receiving contributions from this world. According to the degree that we contribute, the faster the world will become God’s world.
No matter how ideal or great, our horizontal family lasts only one generation. Our family is not automatically connected with history. Therefore, we must bring our family to be connected with history by making ties with other families and the nation and to all different levels. Most especially, we have to have children to continue our lineage. It is not only our family that fits into this pattern, but also our descendants’ families will fit it. We are connected with the world, so the pattern will expand and expand and eventually all the world will fit into it.
Why did I come to the West, where everything is so different for me? I did it to connect this pattern to the rest of the world, so that for generations to come the pattern can expand and eventually the whole world will be connected. The tradition and the ideal of love must become perfected to begin with. Then it must be transmitted generation after generation, throughout eternity.
If you are riding on a bus, or sitting in your own living room, and your grandparents enter, you naturally want them to have the most comfortable chairs. You want your parents to take the next most comfortable chairs. The youngest members of the family, yourself included, can sit on the floor or stand up. By the same token, when you ride on a bus and someone of your grandparents’ age gets on, you would naturally want them to take your seat.
Here in the Western world, people strive for what is called equality, but there is confusion about this concept. There is no equality except within love. Since the grandparents were born first, they automatically have seniority. Therefore, they are not “equal” to a newborn baby. But in love, they are equal. Your grandparents are the ones who were working and making the foundation here on earth for you to be born. Thus they deserve more respect.
If some young person says, “Well, I got on the bus first so I get the best seat because I have a right to it,” he does not understand this point. We live together, we breathe the same air and eat the same kinds of food, but we each have our proper position. On a tree you see that the trunk and leaves coexist, but they have different levels of importance. The roots cannot be the leaves, or vice-versa. There is a proper sequence: the leaves don’t come out and then grow roots. The roots must exist first and give rise to the trunk, which in turn produces the leaves-in that order. That is a universal law. Every living being follows that simple rule, without exception.
Therefore, we must really understand the proper order within the family. A young person should never say to his elder brothers and sisters, “Leave me alone. What right do you have to tell me what to do?”
Your eyes are a very important organ, yet they too must be humble to the overriding importance of life itself The cells in the eye which form the optic system must work together to render service to the rest of the body in the same way that all the other organs must.
What does the universe look like? What is its shape? It resembles the human form. The form of God is repeated in mankind. When the center of the universe, that one central family, is firmly established, then everything: will turn in the same direction.
The ideal in the Bible is represented by the Tree of Life, isn’t that correct? That Tree of Life represents not only an ideal individual, but also the ideal of the world and of God Himself. Everything is based upon the Tree of Life.
The members of the Unification Church are trying very hard to resemble this ideal form. When we do, no matter where we go-for example, to Africa-we will automatically be welcomed because we represent the original ideal form. The people will recognize that ideal. All areas and echelons of the universe are constantly striving to become perfected as God Himself is perfect.
Do you understand what I am saying to you? Now you should discuss this with your spouse, and ask, “What score shall we give to our family? Fifty points? Forty?” Maybe you deserve a minus ten. You know exactly what position you are in. You don’t have to tell anybody else, but you know. Now you have a measuring stick, a means of evaluating your family.
Perhaps you say, “I am very busy trying to make my family an ideal one, so why should I run around doing church duties? I’ll let others do that while I concentrate on perfecting my family.” But such people are going against the will of God, who is trying to extend His ideal to the whole world and the universe. Is it more ideal to try to live disconnected from the rest of the world, or for your family to be a part of the universal ideal sphere, as is God Himself?
(Speaking in English:) If you can create that formula, that ideal family, then you can influence all of the world. This is an absolute formula path and you have to fulfill each step. The most important place to work is on the earth. Where is perfection reached? Not in the spirit world but on the earth. Many famous people have tried to find the ideal world, the ideal family, and the ideal way of thinking. But no matter how hard they worked, they did not succeed. Now, for the first time, the Unification movement has appeared on the earth and this is the greatest hope for the human situation.
Only through the original standard, centering on true love, can you achieve everything. Otherwise, there is no way. You have to be clear in your mind on this point. Each man and woman must become the representative of the ideal family, society, nation and world system. You must have the perfect 90 degree angle between the horizontal and vertical aspects of life. Fallen man may have 75 degrees, not ninety. Some are even at zero degrees!
Until now, people did not know this formula. Once you understand it clearly, you can catch everything. You want to make heaven on earth through true love. True heaven is centered on God’s love and the heavenly purpose. The fallen spiritual world cannot make that kind of true heaven in the spiritual world. God began the providential way in order to establish that formula. Now that formula is known for the first time. It cannot be compared to anything.
This seems very simple, but it is historic. God wants us to go to the highest place, the highest point. All of providential history is going to that resting point, the terminal point of history. At that point, the universe is fulfilled. This is a very serious point.
Throughout history, God worked for this purpose. Two thousand years ago, Jesus Christ knew how important this central point was. He worked to achieve this point but he didn’t get there. For the first time, Reverend Moon has made this foundation. How much has Jesus been able to enjoy his life in the spirit world? All human ancestors, saints, and famous people have been searching for this point.
Think about the importance of this generation. Those people in spirit world with descendants in the Unification Church are so proud. They pay attention to whether you are working hard or taking it easy. Both the most high and the most miserable are thinking about this present generation. They wish they could be born in the world again, in this time period. How hard they would work! How much more they would do! Life on earth is so critically important.
When your generation passes away, the next generations will inherit the same formula. It will go on forever. I am serious. God is serious. Jesus is serious. All the people in spirit world are serious. What about you? You are the inheritors of history in this fallen world. There is Satan’s side and God’s side. They should be separated clearly. God wants only His side not Satan’s side-but now the two are mixed together. You go back and forth between the boundaries of heaven and hell- moving one step left, one step right. Someday you have to make it clear and stand on only one side.
I understand the value of this life on earth. Think about how much the world has persecuted me, yet I have patience and endurance and I continue in this work. Why? It is because of this formula. I want to create a wider way for people to go through. All the spirit world knows this point and wants to help us.
Your original mind rejects the fallen world because it is controlled by Satan. We must take the miserable world situation and turn it into heaven. How can we reach the highest purpose? If you don’t reach it, you will not be happy. You have to form your family for the purpose of making one united world.
(Translation resumes:) Now you know clearly, don’t you? When I say something and hear the translation, I know it is far from correct, so I took pains to express myself today. But if I keep on speaking in English, it is not fitting. Should True Parents speak two or three languages? No.
Right by your door, write down, “My family is at the 50 percent passing mark,” or whatever your mark should be. Some families deserve a minus 80! How did that happen? They are the ones who say, “Why does Father do things this way? Maybe it’s because he’s from the Orient. No wonder he isn’t popular!” The kind of family who is full of criticism for me has a minus 80. That is very close to the worst hell. Now you know what constitutes heaven and hell.
In a word, heaven is the original family in which the wife treats her husband as God, the husband treats his wife as God, and that treatment expands to everyone else. That is heaven in the family. Now you know what is the ideal, so it should be easy for you to make a comparison and go to the good side.
The larger your family unit the better- grandfather, grandmother, and all the close or even distant relatives living together. A large family is good. That way you can train yourself. The level of society you can relate with will be that much wider.
Suppose one woman is saying, “My husband doesn’t treat me well. I need this and that, and he never provides it. Woe is me!” If you think your husband is not good for you, or he doesn’t treat you nicely, think to yourself that you will take responsibility for his re-creation. You are the ones doing re-creation, not God.
This morning, you should be able to say, “Father, frankly I haven’t lived with my family according to the ideal formula. But this morning, I realize the standard we should live by. I pledge to follow that direction and I will never stop. We will create a family that God can come and live in.’
Those who make that pledge, raise your hands. Let us pray.