Desperate To the Utmost Degree

Desperate To the Utmost Degree

Sun Myung Moon
June 6, 1986
Excerpts
Leaders’ Conference
East Garden
From the notes of Laura Reinig

Father scheduled a 10 A.M. leaders’ conference at East Garden on June 6, two days after he had come back from Korea. At 9:30, when only some of us had arrived, Father walked quietly and unobtrusively into the living room and took his seat; some people didn’t even know he was there. Quickly we all rose and made a full bow.

Father drew his legs up cross-legged on his chair. Dr. Pak sat on the floor beside him, translating Father’s soft, almost inaudible words. Father gazed out the window into the garden; he looked like a Buddha, his vision penetrating far beyond earthly things, as if grappling with the concerns of the whole universe. He looked as if he were carrying a tremendous burden on his shoulders.

Father’s first words were, “How do you feel now that I’m back? If you are just happy and excited to see me then you are no more conscious about the situation of the country than little children:’ He said we should instead be seriously preparing what he needs at this time. His mission in America should only have lasted 12 years, but he has been here almost 15 years and still he cannot leave because we, as leaders and members, have not assumed our responsibility. He spoke of how many people and groups were still actively opposed to him, and how dangerous it was for him to be in America.

The Need for National Support
He said our primary mission should be protecting the True Parents. Not by volunteering to be a guard at East Garden, but by being desperate to get national support, bringing Christianity together, and gaining friends of the movement. We have to make the people aware of Father’s value. Secular humanism, which is taking over the country like a plague, can only be stopped by the Christian churches, he said, but the ministers have to be made aware of it through us. “How much have you been crying out to God these past six months, desperate to reach one more person?”

This mission is difficult, he said, but it is designed to be difficult. If it were not a true mission, it would not be difficult. “I have been dealing only with the truth, and that is why the path has been so tortuous and difficult” He spoke of the way big successful corporations run their campaigns. Anyone who lacks courage or ability is not hired for the job. In that way only the best people are used and the standard of excellence is kept high. God’s standard of excellence should be even higher than that of the secular world, he said, but God has a problem: He has to embrace everyone regardless of their success or failure. God has nurtured us and forgiven us all this time, he told us, but we have accomplished nothing in the last 10 years. “How can you be proud of your individual accomplishments? Actually I have done it all”

“You are different from people in the secular world” he said, “because Satan accuses you so heavily when you fail. People in the world are trained to handle setbacks and failures; if they fail, they work twice as hard and are not discouraged. You are too naive, too innocent. When you fail, you come back crying. You lose hope and give up, all the while thinking, ‘It’s okay, Father will forgive me.’ Then you don’t try anymore. But to succeed, you have to work 1000 times harder than you have been doing. Now I need to have actual results. Visible success is very important for America right now. Do you have confidence to do what I am asking?”

“Your hearts have not been absolutely committed,” he told us. “That is why the spirit world is sluggish around you and is not helping you. You are falling into bad habits. Each one of you leaders thinks you are a shining example of a church leader, but you are not. You have failed, and this is my agony’.”

“America will crumble if I withdraw my influence,” he said. “Today America is rampant with leftist, anti-God thinking. It is completely losing its moral sense. Even the politicians do not care about creating a better society. They just follow any popular policy that will help them get more votes.”

Climb All The Way Up
Father said he has been pushing us and pushing us to become known and loved in our communities. If we had really responded to Father the last few years, we would be in incredibly elevated positions by now. “But you say, ‘No, I only want to settle down halfway: ”

“I am desperate to the utmost degree. I have been waiting for you to spur yourselves onward. Have you changed? No! So, are you going to just wipe your hands and give up?” He said we have to climb all the way up, because we have already come this far. “How little you know about me!” he said. “So many complaints, so much ungodly criticism!”

Father must not perish, even if everything else perishes. Sacrifice is needed to insure that he will not perish. “What will you do from now until 1988? Everything you do for the next three years will determine the future of America,” he said. “If you fail this time, your generation will be put in the category of ‘failed mission”

Fortunately, time remains, he said. First, we must repent. This alone can bring us hope. We must develop absolute conviction. We can make a last- minute commitment now. We are the frontline soldiers indemnifying the failure of those who did not accept Father in 1945. We, 40 years later, are giving America a second chance.

“I am looking for the one country that will say, ‘Welcome, Rev. Moon!'” he said. “But before a country can say that, it has to bear the cross. You should just go and bear the cross willingly and eagerly. You should not say or even think, ‘Please let this cup pass from me: Just bear the cross with no questions asked.”

We need the power of prayer to influence the angels to intervene on earth. With prayer, a powerful spirit can be brought down. Father explained that since he gave the direction for all CAUSA lecturers to pray three times longer than they speak, the CAUSA message has spread quickly and has been well received. As our reputation goes up, though, so does our need for a more powerful prayer life, he said. In our lectures we have to let God speak through us. We have to be innocent before God. Only then will our audience be touched. Overconfidence in our speaking ability will kill us. “Go out with the attitude that your loved ones are captives of the enemy and that you must save them at all costs. You must have a burning desire to liberate the people of your area. You are their only hope”

Who Shall Protect Me
“Who shall protect me?” he said. The senators and congressmen, the heads of corporations — they are the ones who should be worried about protecting Father. If they really knew he was the sole person who could save America they would say to him, “Yes. I will do everything in my power to protect you”

“If you are not crazy for your mission God will not help you,” Father told us. “The person who risks his life for this task is the one whom God loves. But you are not doing that. You are always trying to find the easiest way, the most comfortable way to do things. You cannot say, ‘I need money. I need to sleep certain hours.’ That is wrong! You have to be more serious than Satan”

All this time Father had either been looking out the window and speaking in a low, deadly-serious voice or confronting the leaders sitting closest to him with hard questions. He never once smiled. Then suddenly Father changed his countenance. He turned to face all of us, sat back in his chair, smiled, and said, “Do you still love me? Do you still like me?” He said he hadn’t intended to speak so strongly but it had just come out of him that way. “God told me to say these things.” he said, “because they were true”

In a lighter tone now, he said that there were many non-members who were desperately doing things to help the Unification movement. “Your hearts are still beating — you aren’t dead yet — so why don’t you commit yourselves to give everything you have for this cause?”

Then he told a little story about a man responsible for the Kimpo International Airport in Seoul, who makes it a point to greet Father personally whenever he flies in or out of Korea. He recently told Father that he got a promotion, and he attributes this to the fact that he attends Father so faithfully. He feels God has blessed him because he is doing something good for Rev. Moon.

Then, Father concluded, if we do good for the sake of True Parents, won’t God also bless us?