The Victorious Person and the Defeated Person
Sun Myung Moon
March 1, 1982
Translator: Sang Kil Han
We met yesterday and today we are meeting again. Aren’t you getting tired of this?
We must always remember that daily life is a continuous struggle. There are many kinds of struggles and therefore we have to determine what kind we are going through at any particular time. Many people struggle daily in order to make a living and receive a salary. But some people are more worthy of receiving their salary than others because they do better work. Likewise those who do inferior work can be criticized. Then there are people who work for themselves and do not receive a salary from someone else. In this case, the quality of their own work determines whether they are successful or not. Thus, according to the work they do, they are also subject to judgment or criticism.
Let us look at America from this perspective. There are Americans who better their country and are liked and respected by other citizens, while there are people who do not contribute to the country in any way. This kind of difference can be found in every group. Even among Unification Church members, we see this variety. There are people whom others look up to and want to emulate, and there are people who are not so well respected.
An individual can criticize himself most effectively because he knows himself better than anyone else. He knows where his strengths and weaknesses lie and he knows how he needs to change. Within an individual, every element knows whether it is being used for something good or something bad. Your eyes know if you are looking at good or bad things. Likewise, your ears can discriminate between good and bad.
When you hear these words, you might feel inspired because you recognize them as true. Someone else might think, “That is just a broad generalization. I am not inspired.” Would you prefer to be on the good side, exhibiting only good qualities, or would you be content to remain on the bad side? Everyone, of course, would say he wants to have all good qualities.
On the national level, some nations are criticized by all the other nations because they damage the rest of the world. Each nation can judge and criticize other nations. We can see that God must be evaluating the nations of the world according to how they are performing for the total benefit of the world. He must have a definite idea about each country.
God certainly desires goodness. If there were also an evil god, even he would want something good. We might think, “An evil god should want evil things,” but even an evil being desires good things. Perhaps if that evil god could not get good things, he would go and plunder good things from others.
The good God does not want bad things; He just wants to stay with goodness. He wants to have good things all the time and cherish them eternally. But the evil god will try to snatch them away from the good God the first chance he gets.
In all levels of life them is struggle between good and evil. Let me ask you, are you a good person or a bad one? You said good in a rather half-hearted way; you must not have much confidence! But you are right to answer “good” in a half-hearted way because if you were totally good to begin with, you wouldn’t have had to go through struggle. If someone has good things and is a completely good person, why should he have to struggle?
When there is a good thing, both bad people and good people want it. What is the best thing in the world? You say “true love,” but even before true love exists, a person must exist. If there were many good people, then there wouldn’t be so much struggle in the pursuit of true love.
Here the main question is whether human history started out in an evil or a good way, whether man was good in nature but gradually became evil after he was born, or the other way around. Was man created to be evil and then to gradually improve himself? If people were born to be evil, then we couldn’t even have hope to improve ourselves, so we can rule that out.
When I ask you the straightforward question, “Are you a good person or an evil one?” you answer that you are good, but you also qualify your answer with a lot of laughter. Is there a possibility that you will become really good? Yes? Then we can confidently say that we were not born in a hopelessly bad condition; in fact, we were born relatively good. Since we were born good, we can have a lot of hope to become better.
Although someone is born with a good nature, if he is surrounded by a bad situation, he will have to struggle hard to come back to a good state. This is simply logical. So we can easily conclude that man’s nature was created good, but he happened to be born into a bad situation. This is a simply natural analysis, but when we look at the Principle, we learn that this is true-that human beings were created for goodness but were corrupted and fell into a bad situation.
Then what element influenced human beings to become evil and to have to struggle to go towards goodness? That is the question. You say, “self-centeredness.” What is that, exactly? Surely, self-centeredness is putting yourself ahead of God and everybody else. When that sort of thinking began, what happened? Simply speaking, people took the path of false, self-centered love. We can see clearly that these two elements – self-centeredness and false love-put human beings on the wrong path in history.
When mankind fell, it was as if he received injections one was self-centeredness and the other was false love.
Those things began to circulate in the human body. Have they been cleansed yet? No, evil has gone on and or. without changing and has been renewed with each new individual. If we get food poisoning, we need an antidote. Therefore, because we were poisoned by self-centeredness and false love, we also need an antidote. What is that antidote? You say, “true love,” so easily, but where is it?
Let each person think about himself. Has the poison of self-centeredness and false love been eliminated from your system, or is it still circulating within you? It is still there and you can feel it easily. When are we going to completely eliminate that poison? Can you just do nothing and expect it to go away automatically in time?
There am different types and stages of awareness. Sonic people don’t even know they are doing evil. Others know when they are doing bad things and want to become good, so they have to struggle to become good. People who want to be very, very good must go through tremendous struggles.
What is false love? To whom does love rightly belong? Love itself is a common possession; it is owned by everyone at the same time but there should be a master or subject of love. Who is that? It is God. Men to fulfill love’s purpose, there must be a man and a woman who practice and appreciate love. The first two people coming into contact with love for the first am would have thought, “I’d like to have that.” That’s very natural; there was nothing bad about that. People are born to appreciate good things.
What is the difference between a bad person and a good one? Both wish to have good things. We can see that love belongs to everybody; everyone was meant to experience it at the proper time. But there is a right order to things; first things must come first, second things second, and so forth. First, God was supposed to have love; then original man and woman were to have it; then it certainly was to be passed along to the angels. ‘Mat would have been the right order for true love, not false love. Thus it is the orderliness, the right order, that made the difference in love. By not adhering to the law of right order, false love came into being and the distinction between true love and false love came to exist.
Let us take as an example several brothers and sisters with the same parents. They are born in a certain order, one after the other. There must be a first child, a second child, a third and so forth even though the difference in their ages could be as little as one year. If it became necessary, the first-born could take responsibility for the second-born, and the second could do the same for the third and so forth.
Suppose the elder brother said to the younger one, “Do this,” and he replies, “OK, but I must do something else first.” That would be die proper way for him to reply, rather than to shout, “No, I Won’t do it,” without giving any sip of obedience or explanation. Violating the rules of conduct in regard to order is wrong. Do you Americans feel, “Why should the cider brother have more authority than the younger one?” It happens that in America this concept is strange, but what about in God’s eyes?
Even in America, it’s natural to give deference to an elder. Let’s suppose, for example, there are five brothers lined up in order of age, with the eldest first and the next one second and so forth. In America, would they line up at random? What if the parents are included in the line would the children go before them? No, the parents would be first and then the children. Even in America, that would seem logical.
Also, the parents give direction to the children and they are expected to obey. The child is not supposed to say, I don’t have to listen to my parents.” That is not acceptable. The parents might give a wrong direction to the child, but he should say, I would do that, but if I do it now, it would create a bad situation. Can you please reconsider?” Then the mother or father would think about it and say, “I guess you are right, so you don’t have to do that.” In such a way, their differences can be resolved properly.
The parent shouldn’t cling to his “authority” in such a case and stubbornly demand that the child do what he says. If he did that, the child would rightly be forced to rebel against his parent’s unreasonableness. The parents must yield to the children if the children are in the right.
When parents ask their son to do something that he is sure will turn out badly, then he should not blindly follow their instructions. He should explain his thoughts to his mother or father so that the course of action he ultimately follows will bring forth good results.
This may seem to be too simple an analysis. You might wonder how this relates to human history and mankind’s problems. But actually it describes the basic element of human history and the beginning point of mankind’s problems.
Looking at the world today, we might ask whether it is communism that is wrong or the American system. To decide which is right we have to discover the criteria by which we can judge right and wrong.
Throughout history, mankind has been reaching out and trying to move toward goodness and has made a certain amount of progress. Which country is trying to preserve and promote that human advancement and which country is trying to destroy it? In other words, who is protecting the orderliness of the creation and who is destroying it? We have to find the correct standard in order to judge the right and wrong nations.
According to that standard, it is the United States that is right. Why? As you know, there is a right order to creation. The spiritual maim was the first to be created and then the physical realm was created. Thus in the United States, die spiritual values were given first priority and material ones were second. But in the communist countries, materialism is the first priority and spiritual things are not even acknowledged.
Marxism itself is a very new phenomenon; it certainly hasn’t been around for thousands and thousands of years. It is a new way of thinking that tries to confuse the right order of creation. What communism is really trying to do is separate die spiritual realm from the physical realm once and for all. This is exactly what Satan wants – to separate people from their eternal, spiritual lives. But that blatantly violates God’s order of creation. That is one clear reason why communism must be condemned and why it is on the satanic side. Therefore, the United States has done the right thing by opposing communism. The founding spirit of America was a very good one because it was based upon the priority of God and spiritual values. We must really accent this and be proud of it.
Suppose Americans wanted to reaffirm these founding principles but to say, They are just for white people, not blacks and Orientals and other minorities.” Anyone who asserted this would be a bad citizen. Such a bad American should be expelled from the country So how can we discern who is a good American or a bad one? Understanding the order of creation, we can use it as a tool to positively identify good and evil people.
White people might say, “Prejudice is wrong; we have nothing against. blacks and other minorities. However, some black people are doing certain things which are damaging others.” If that is a reasonable statement, then black people have to listen. If a person refuses to admit that he was wrong, and ignores the argument while clamoring for his “rights” and to be treated equally, then he is wrong. We can ask the black people here whether this is fair or not.
Let me ask you again this question: according to the Unification Church standard, are you a good person or an evil person? One criterion is whether or not you have been fulfilling your mission, regardless of whether or not someone was watching you. Another criterion is whether you have been obedient to your central figures and have done your best to fulfill what was needed.
However, if you am given a direction by your central figure which you are sure will bring some harm to the Unification Church, then you should speak out and say, “I understand why you am giving me this direction, but if. I did that it would not produce a good result for the following reason.” The one who gave you that direction should listen and change his thinking according to the value of your explanation. That is the right order. But if that central figure clings stubbornly to his own idea, then he is being a bad Unification Church member, not just according to the Unification Church, but according to God as well. Isn’t that true?
This applies to every facet of life, including a man leading his family. This principle also applies in a business. If the president of a company asks a manager to do something but the manager just balks without giving a good reason, he will be in trouble. We can apply this principle everywhere and it works.
As we said, self-centeredness is the beginning point of evil. Why is it so bad? Taking care of oneself is no bad-, without that, you could not even maintain your proper position within the whole. Certainly we must care about ourselves. As long as caring about oneself is in its proper position, it is not wrong. But to violate the right order of things and focus upon oneself excessively, not caring about other people or the whole purpose, is certainly evil. Everybody would consider that to be bad.
Whatever brings destruction to orderliness is what we term evil. When you really understand this, you can understand the difference between God and Satan. There is one massive difference which separates them, and dim one thing is the change of order which Satan brought about. Satan put himself above God and that is grossly wrong.
Satan has promoted himself above everyone and everything else. The effect is the destruction of order on all levels — in the family, clan, society and nation. All Satan cares about is himself and he has no regard for the problems he causes. By observing in the actions of irresponsible people in this country and the rest of the world, we can see how Satan works.
Let’s ask a simple question: Is there a consciousness of tight order within the average American family? Is there an orderliness of love? No, there is not. This is one critical flaw, one fatal problem that overrides other things in the nation, which otherwise may be very good.
It’s interesting to study how laws originate. Let’s consider some examples. When a person drinks an alcoholic beverage, it produces a nice, relaxed feeling within him, so why is it a bad thing to do? Especially in young people, alcohol immobilizes reason and spurs them to do things on impulse that can cause much destruction. Certainly more negative behavior takes place than positive. A young person might see some television hero beating up ten men at once and think that he can do just the same. In his right mind, he wouldn’t dare such a thing, but after a few drinks, he might try it.
In spite of all this, such a young man, say 16 or 17 years old, will grow up within this society with all its confusing values, and will gradually accumulate enough experience to know what sorts of things to avoid, even when he is drinking. So an older person having a few drinks will be better able to discern dangers because of the things he has learned in life.
A better analogy is a knife. Certainly a parent would not hesitate to give a Swiss Army knife to a teenager because he could use it properly. But would he give it to a three-year-old? That shiny knife would certainly be appealing to a little three-year-old. He might try cutting different things, like a radish or a piece of paper and he would be thrilled to see how it works. So he would try to cut everything, such as his mother’s finger. Of course, that is not the kind of thing to give to a three-year-old. That is understood by everyone.
The same principle applies in teaching young people about love and sex. You might tell them, “Don’t even be alone with someone of the opposite sex.” Some young men and women are perfectly able to take care of themselves and won’t do anything wrong. But the urge for love is so overwhelming that once they get involved with it, they will be unable to focus on their school work and other things. Some teenagers filch money from their mothers’ purse in order to buy things for their girlfriend or boyfriend because the need to please the loved one is so strong.
Laws have come into being because the rules of society have to be spelled out. If someone does certain things, he has to be put in jail. Laws can be misused, it is true, but it is better to have them than not to have them at all.
We have to clearly understand how to be good Unification Church members. We are supposed to have more discriminating standards for everything. Some people ask, “Why are there so many ‘don’ts’ in the Unification Church? What is wrong with having a few beers or wine once in a while? I don’t lose my principles when I drink.” When a person is slouching in a chair, someone else might remind him, “That is not good heavenly manner.” Or perhaps he doesn’t bow down to elders when they come in the room, as many Americans do not. He might ask, “Why must there be so many rules, so many fetters to my behavior?”
If a room is crowded and everyone has only a little space to move in and someone stretches his legs to occupy twice as much space as others, then we say, ‘That is not right.” Why is that? It is because he is violating the order of the whole. Isn’t this a clear example? Everyone has a minimum of space here at Belvedere, but someone might say, “I am accustomed to sitting in a chair, so I am just going to make myself as comfortable as possible, no matter how much I crowd the people around me.” Is that good or bad? It is a small thing and perhaps not greatly immoral, but looking at how it affects the benefit of the whole, we say it is bad.
These very simple principles are applicable to our conduct on every level. As you know, I never dress up except on formal occasions. One time I went out to a restaurant wearing a casual shirt and no tie. The maitre d’ told me I could not go inside because I wasn’t dressed properly and I was very angry at him. My first thought was, “Which is more important-man’s dignity or a necktie?” But then I calmed myself down and thought, “Although I feel comfortable and dignified without a necktie, if I go in and eat, then others would want to do the same. Eventually, the place would go down in its class. So I shouldn’t impair the high-class standard they are trying to maintain here. If they let me in without a tie, others already seated might feel they were discriminated against.” At the same time, I didn’t want to go home and get a tie, so the best solution was for me not to go to that restaurant. Therefore nobody was hurt.
Thus goodness and evil are decided in a simple way. In every case, if you think about the well-being of the whole, you will be able to do the right thing.
The topic today is “The Victorious Person and the Defeated Person.” What is the difference? The message is simple: the victorious person is one who always adheres to a rule of conduct respecting the orderliness of the whole. Such a person will always become a victor.
Another person might be overwhelmed in some situation and violate the rules of order. Although he might appear to be a victor in such a situation, eventually he will have to face the same test again and do it the right way. Look at wrestlers in the ring. Perhaps one of them will use some illegal maneuver which the referee doesn’t see and which allows him to win the match. But later, other people who saw it will complain and eventually the decision can be reversed. Even though he may have won the match at first, because he violated the law, he will be the loser in the end.
We can observe this everywhere. So we, who base our beliefs on orderliness according to God’s original ideal, must determine to be more serious than anyone about these things. We must say, “I will pay more attention than ever before to orderliness. I might be confronted with some situation which I will not be able to do properly in the future, so I must be more diligent.”
Suppose a meeting is being held at 8 o’clock, but someone arrives at 8:15, thinking nothing of it. That is wrong. What if someone arrives only one second after 8 o’clock? He should still think that is wrong. Some people will have come at 6 o’clock, some at 7, and some at 7:59. What is the difference between them? According to the viewpoint of orderliness, they are the same, since they all arrived on time.
Maybe from the point of view of using time well, the person who arrives at 7:59 should be commended. The person who arrived at 6 o’clock might be judged according to what he did during those two hours’ waiting time. Maybe he could have done some part-time work and earned ten dollars! Just because he came at 6, he can’t claim to be a better person than the others. It is a matter of Principle which is not always so clear.
What do you call the teacher of a martial arts lesson? The san-sae. Who is the san-sae of the Unification Church? In martial arts, the san-sae will sometimes hit you for no reason. Do you say, “Well, you will hear from my lawyer about that!” No, we know that the san-sae is doing things according to the right order in martial arts. Therefore, someone who wants to abide by normal social conventions within a martial arts class is wrong. What kind of person is victorious within the Unification Church? Who is the “manager” of the Unification Church?
Orderliness is one of the rules which influence human history the most. Nothing within the natural world goes against orderliness. Can you imagine the moon complaining about having to go around the earth all the time and saying it wanted to go around the sun for a change? If it did that, it would be destroyed, burned up. Likewise, if the earth said to the sun, “Now you revolve around me,” the balance of the whole solar system would be destroyed. Do you understand?
Imagine if I was determined to force the rest of the world to conform to the standards of orderliness, especially pertaining to drinking. Suppose I went into liquor stores and bars and started breaking all the bottles and kicking the windows in and so forth. Would that be the right thing for me to do? No, because the principle of orderliness dictates non-violence. The rest of the country approves of drinking and them are many people who patronize those establishments. That doesn’t mean I should join the crowd and drink. All I have to do is stay away from those places.
By the same token, the Unification Church is not going to raid the disco places and throw people out. We just stay away from them. That is our strict standard, but we don’t try to destroy them. Keeping orderliness is acceptable to everyone.
When we, as members of the Unification Church, have a clear understanding of this, we will have a new ability to judge every situation. Sometimes it is very hard to know what to do and we wonder, “Should I do this or should I do that? Which is better?” We will always make the fight decision when we consider this law of orderliness. Our lives can be simpler and we can eliminate a lot of frustration if we understand this one point.
Whenever I go into new circumstances, such as on a visit to someone’s home, one thing I never do is drastically disagree with the people there. Even though there may be something which I know needs to be changed and which I know I could correct, I never say, “That is wrong and you have to change it!” Instead, I will mildly say, “Don’t you think it would be good if you did this and that?” People can always accept that. I never do such things as here at Belvedere-hitting, you on the head. Why do I do that to you people here in the first row? It is because you want that-you hope for that and therefore you sit in the first row.
If you don’t understand these things I have been discussing, then you will always have a hard time understanding justice or what is the better action to take. That is only judged according to this scale. You have some idea of how to dress yourself. Suppose you are going out with five of your friends and they all wear neckties, while you are dressed casually. Would you try to push the others to change their clothing to conform with yours? I would never do such a thing. If I join a group in which most of the men are wearing neckties, then I will excuse myself and go put on a necktie. That doesn’t change my value or damage my dignity.
Suppose someone is a heavy tobacco user but he is in a group in which no one else is smoking. Even though he will be uncomfortable, he should refrain from smoking as long as he is in their company. It is the common duty of all of us to assist in maintaining the orderliness of any society, provided it is a moral one, so we should be trained in that way.
How should we conduct ourselves to be always successful and never a failure? I look at a person who is successful and I ask, “How did he win? Was it in the proper way, by maintaining right order?” If so, I am very happy to recognize his success but if he is seen by everybody as having gained success through expedient and underhanded means, then I do not recognize that. We have to judge ourselves whenever we succeed as to whether our principles were consistent with those of a true victor. Why is that? Success must always come through right orderliness. The universe will not allow us to succeed for long unless we conform to that law. Now we know the way to succeed all the time.
Someone might ask, “Reverend Moon, what kind of person are you? You confuse me. You came to America and you disapproved of many things here. You spoke against the Carter administration and now you are criticizing the young people here. You just don’t make sense to the American mentality.” How would I answer that? It is no secret that our movement is strictly based upon God’s principles; we are a religious movement. Every position I have taken has been as a leader of a religious organization which was initiated by God. I have never said anything for the purpose of pleasing other people, including Americans.
God certainly would not do things solely for the purpose of satisfying public opinion. He is above everyone, looking down at America, and He is in the best position to give advice and direction from that vantage point. If you are inside a situation, your viewpoint is limited. This country was born out of the human desire to seek God. It has no reason to try to disregard God’s will now. The United States must be in accord with God’s direction. Drugs, drinking, disco dancing, free sex-these are not the instruments of God. They do not help humanity.
Why don’t we direct the excess energy of young people for the sake of mankind and God? That is all Reverend Moon is saying. Since we have no way of influencing others so directly, we set up our own framework within the Unification Church. The young members, under my direction, have all been chased out to do intense fundraising. That isn’t done for the sake of Reverend Moon but for the sake of America and the world-a very special motivation.
Why did you follow Reverend Moon? It is because I have never refrained from saying what God wanted me to say. I have been working from the very beginning to teach you about the orderliness of nature and the universe. Unification Church members, who are fairly intelligent, can see this point clearly that the way people are behaving in America is mostly against God’s ‘will. I have just said that children must listen to their parents, yet when the parents say, “Don’t go to the Unification Church,” you know they are wrong. What principle do we go by in order to determine what is right or wrong? We must always consider what will maintain the right order of the universe and then we will always come out the victors.
Today, in the worldly sense, is Reverend Moon a success or a failure? Of course, I am viewed as a failure because virtually everybody else in the world looks down on me. But in truth, I am successful. What is your estimate — am I going in the wrong direction, or the right one? Looking at your parents, for example, we can say that they look like victors — they have a steady income, they are respected and not persecuted by their communities. But eventually they may end up on the defeated side, while all the Unification Church will end up successful. Now we may appear as outcasts and losers, but we will become the true victors in the future. That is as certain as the daylight.
Unification Church members are constantly faced with sensitive and confusing situations in their daily life, but the Principle always prevails. We have to understand people in all kinds of situations or else we can’t reach out to them. Don’t you think God knows all about disco dancing? To know about such things is never bad. It really doesn’t bother my conscience to go to any place. I even visited the homes of prostitutes when I was younger in order to understand their society and why they did what they did. At that time, I thought, “Mere is no assurance that even after the Unification Church becomes prosperous, some of the members won’t end up in this situation, even among the blessed couples.”
What if I decided to educate you about drinking, so I called you all together and invited you to drink from a big keg of beer? Would that be so wrong? If you can understand the problems of drinkers by doing that and thus help them, it is not wrong. Certainly, however, I am not saying you should go out and visit all the dreadful places of the world just to see how they operate. There is too much risk involved in that.
I have been strict in requiring that our church members be clean cut. Long hair, such as hippies wear, is not bad in itself, but right behind the well-meaning hippies stand evil elements, even communists and gangsters. It doesn’t make so much difference to God how long a person’s hair is, but in this world a person with long hair is easily mistaken for a hippie. In order to maintain our spiritual distance from the standards of this world, we have to keep ourselves clean cut and different in appearance. Nowadays I haven’t said much about people’s hair. Many men have grown beards, but that is OK. It makes you look tough! I never ignore your circumstances.
Look at some of the established Christian churches and how they try to teach their people. They say, “Don’t drink. Period.” If you ask them why, they can’t really explain clearly. If a bunch of construction workers were having a party, they might get into a brawl. A conventional Christian minister passing by such a brawl would be likely to say, “Poor souls. I pray for their salvation,” and then go away. But if I came upon such a scene, I would take off my shirt and wade right into the fight and intervene to stop it.
I have always tried to mediate and judge who was right and who was wrong. That is the true role of a minister. Who else should do it-not the construction foreman or anybody else. Ibis sort of toughness is necessary. If I were to attend a wrestling match somewhere, I would probably join right in, if I were just doing what I enjoy. I would join in with many sorts of games and sports, becoming not only the friend of the players but even a leader among them! Therefore, one of the first things I set up in our Unification Theological Seminary was a karate gymnasium. Where else in the world do you see such a thing at a seminary?
I asked the students at the seminary if they wanted to have a karate gymnasium and explained to them why it would be good, and they all agreed. Certainly, we did not create that karate gymnasium in order to become a threat to anybody, but only in order to protect ourselves and to be able to preserve the orderliness of society and the world. There are a lot of evil people who do not understand any language other than strength.
Even many of our members were baffled when I first introduced the VOC program, wondering why religious people should take an aggressive stance against communism. But I explained that nobody else was taking a positive approach to ending Communism — not the American government, not the FBI or the CIA, certainly not the students. Somebody had to, so we did.
What is wrong with aggressively stopping Satan? If God said it was wrong, then we would not do it, but God has said that we are right and furthermore no one else can do it. We can’t hold back out of fear. Thus we have launched a lot of demonstrations on college campuses, but we have never physically hit people first. Compared to what we do, the established Christian churches are in a muddle. They haven’t been able to tackle social problems or even to understand the true nature of them.
Would God, looking down at me, be proud to see such a son? Or would He say, “Oh, he is an embarrassment to Heaven!” I am determined to stand in front of the United States court at this time even though I could evade it, because it will help this country. You may be too young now to appreciate the rule I am discussing today, but the more experience you accumulate, the more you will realize its truth.
Some of you will be embarking upon careers in the world of art and dance in the future. That world is far from the clear-cut, strict society of the Unification Church which you are accustomed to. You have to be able to discern with sensitivity and subtlety what is good and bad in those areas.
We must pursue love, but only in its legitimate and orderly form. We are all born for the purpose of love, but engaging in the improper order of love is wrong. First, we must give our love to our parents and God-they must be our masters. Orderliness is indicated by whether God and my parents approve of me. The most important area is love. If someone is about to get married, he is about to initiate a love relationship for eternity with someone else. Can he say, “I don’t care what anybody else thinks, including God, my parents, and my brothers and sisters. I will be the one to decide.” That cannot be a harmonious way. No matter how strongly you feel you have found a good mate, if God withholds His blessing, can it possibly last?
Many people believe that the ideal way is to say, “Since I love this person, I know my parents will love him/her, too, and so will my brothers and sisters. I will go and tell them.” Most Americans go through this pattern, choosing the person they want and presenting him or her to their families, demanding their approval. But that is the wrong order. I didn’t come into being first and then my parents later, and then God. First, it was God, then my parents, and then me, in that order. So in making an important decision about getting married, it should be done according to the right order. Is that right or wrong?
One of our engaged members was telling his fiancée, “I really need you now. If you love me, disregard the Parents, the members, and come to me.” That girl came to me and said, “Father, he may drop out if I don’t go. What should I do?” How do you suppose I answered that? I didn’t establish the order of relationship, God did. I don’t really have the authority to go beyond God and say, “Go ahead and help him. I don’t know what the results will be, but go ahead and try.” I can’t say such a thing. So I said, “No, he must win over himself.” Did I do the right or the wrong thing?
Preserving and restoring right order must be our main concern. Our lives themselves are secondary to the maintenance of this principle. We must establish order because it is more important than our individual lives. We would do better to lose our life than to live with a confused standard and later have to pay the consequences.
Dr. Durst, no doubt, has many members who come to him for counseling and ask him, “What should I do?” How can Dr. Durst answer them? He would like to be on each person’s side; certainly he is extremely concerned about each person. However, he must think first about this standard of proper order. Even though he might like to say “Yes” to someone whom he cares about, if his answer violates this principle, he cannot do it.
What are you normal Americans or special Americans? You are special in that no other Americans are following God so wholeheartedly and consistently. Would you prefer to be ordinary Americans? When it comes to the Blessing, you think, “I have been waiting so long, so when am I going to get my Blessing?” But would you like a special way of Blessing or a more-than-special way? The ordinary way is to get married right after your engagement. The special way is to wait two years. It is even more special to wait three years! I am not just playing with words here but truly, in God’s tradition, this is the most wonderful way to go.
Would you say, “Now I know this valuable principle which applies to all situations, and since Father said it, I will never forget it. Amen!”? If so, you will be perpetual, eternal victors. Like a long-range shot that reaches the goal in a soccer game, we will be the victors in the end. When you are really confident, you should feel, I don’t have to rely on Father to go to Heaven. As long as I master all the principles he has taught me, how can I go anywhere other than Heaven?”
Haven’t you ever felt, “Father, please stop talking to me now. You have already told me everything I need to know, so let me go out and put into practice what you have said. Once I encounter something that you haven’t taught me about, I will come back and you can tell me more”?
Every single decision I have made in my life was done according to the principle of proper order. I have come up through many levels to this successful realm and so should you. That is why I have been teaching you to apply this rule in your own life.
Let us pray.