Letter from Father to Ye Jin
circa October 1980
Dear Ye Jin,
Soon this letter will reach you, for I have asked President Young Whi Kim to deliver it when he returns home. Even to take this pen and write your name brings to me nostalgic feelings for Korea.
Finishing our final dinner together, the leaders will return soon. Not till after midnight did we finish and I could come to my room. To each leader of our Korean family I wrote detailed instructions, and now it is ten minutes past one, a quiet and peaceful time.
I hear the sweet sound of rain falling quietly down. But the words which I spoke to you on the phone last night are running through my mind like the movement of waves. I can only think that if I had wings, I would fly to Korea immediately, ten times, even a hundred times.
Just as all things outside become wet with rain, inside it is raining in my heart. Tonight I am remembering you, from the time you were first growing up until now. Even as I write, the rain has stopped and a comforting wind begins.
On this small table facing north sits a shining lamp. Within me, my heavy heart responds, becoming brighter as I think of you, Ye Jin. My heart lightens when I feel confidence in you, that you are doing well in your responsibility as eldest daughter. You must inspire and encourage your younger brothers and sisters, so that they will respond well to you. Their happiness depends upon your attitude.
What can bring to me joy and happiness is imagining that you are doing well at home, taking care of each one.
Remembering the early days of your childhood, in those days I came to you night and day, to hold you, to kiss you, and especially, to pray for you and for your future. Even now while we are separated I remind Heavenly Father about you, as I remember all these times.
God really trusts you, Ye Jin, and when I think like this, great energy and strength comes to me.
Very strongly I talked to you on the phone, even very strictly I scolded you, but if you are discouraged by that, then I feel much sorrow towards you.
I suppose you are in your classroom now as you receive this; I imagine you are studying, and I wonder what you are thinking. You might worry because you think that you make your father worry about you. How anguished you must be, and my heart flies to you, to embrace you, and to cry together with you. As I write these words, I feel I am not as father should be to you. Yet the heart of our beloved Heavenly Father must be so much more anguished. This spirit of this love bears the weight of the world. This deep love must come to rule and to change the whole world.
Remember your composition which won the prize at school? You wrote about love based on your own true experience of mother’s love. That is why your words could stir the reader’s heart. That’s how your composition could win the prize.
So now in Korea, autumn has come. It’s a very good season. Remember those days when sometimes I visited Chung Pyung and other special places, and you came too. I love nature very much, and that’s why I visit Chung Pyung so often. Nature is more pure than mankind. Tranquility and calmness are there, so nature contains these good elements to comfort your lonely heart. I really hope nature becomes your good friend.
I imagine you after school as you go back home, and how lonely you must be. You want to see your parents or hear us; you can call or you can write your parents. But think about your younger brothers and sisters. Even though they want to see their parents, some cannot write yet, some cannot even call; so please see how pitiful their situation is.
As father I am asking you to take the load of the parents. To one so young and little as you, I must ask to take the burden of your parents, so how miserable am I! My feeling is that I am committing a terrible offense against you, Ye Jin.
Even through these difficult times, Heavenly Father is trying to advance His will through these miserable parents. Then think how miserable God is; how much more miserable than I am or we are.
Please pray to God, for He will appreciate your prayers.
I cannot see you now, but when this letter sees you, it will be so happy.
Please take care of your younger brothers and sisters. Please do for them as your parents did before, and please pray for them.
Teach your brothers to be a strong person like Father.
I really understand your heart, that you want to come to America, but because I must continue God’s providence, even I am not free to stay in one place very long. There are so many plans which must be carried out.
Many people come to America so freely, to stay and live here. America is such a big country, many people want to come here.
But think about Korea. God really loves Korea. Such a miserable, small nation, nobody pays attention to this country; so we have to protect Korea, and at the same time we have to protect the whole world.
So, Ye Jin, please stay in Korea and always keep a broad mind; please think about the world.
It is already now three o’clock in the morning, so I want to finish my letter; but please be in good spirits and give my best regards to the members.