Ideal Home

Ideal Home

Reverend Sun Myung Moon
November 4, 1979
Belvedere
Translator – Bo Hi Pak

I have just returned from a ten-day trip to Korea. I’m sure you have learned through the media of the shocking situation there, but I returned with confidence that the situation would be settled. I feel this will be a turning point for the better in Asia.

No one dislikes hearing about the “ideal.” When we talk about the ideal home, it must be the home in which we want to dwell. Let us look at our present situation-is it an ideal place or ideal house? Is America the ideal country? Is the world we live in the ideal world? As religious people we know that we dwell in more than one world; there is a spirit world beyond this physical world which is a bigger house than ordinary people imagine. It is an ideal universe which encompasses nations and all peoples and elements of life.

Do we find harmony or disharmony in this giant house? The “ideal” connotes harmony. Does a world of real harmony exist? Is it even possible? Would the ideal house be lit by only one color of light, such as yellow? Or would it be lit by all the living colors of the world? That big house includes all nature-trees, and flowers-in all their glorious variety. Though there are a variety of elements, each is contributing something to the overall existence.

Even the insignificant-looking grass contributes its part to the whole. The courageous tiger is admired by everyone, but the tiny insects and smelly skunks also contribute. We humans dislike the skunk’s smell, but some element of the universe might like it. Perhaps that substance would have medicinal value for some animals. No one really likes poisonous snakes, but their poisons have great value for certain medicines.

Would the little blades of grass and pieces of gravel feel they have but a tiny supporting role in the universe, or that they are important enough that the rest of the universe must harmonize with them? Do most members think that they are unimportant in the Unification Church, or does everyone think they are indispensable in God’s dispensation? If you think you are indispensable then how do you think the rest of creation views themselves?

My eye may realize that it is small, but feel that if it were blind and staring blankly then Reverend Moon would look unattractive. For that reason my eye feels it is important, and I have to agree. If you ask one hair on my head whether it belongs to me or I belong to it, that hair will definitely respond that I belong to it! Everything considers its existence to be important for the rest of the universe, and if we ever took that concept away then we couldn’t talk about the ideal.

Out of all the thousands of churches in America, there is probably only one congregation sitting on a concrete floor, but even so we think we are the center of the universe, don’t we? That is the ideal, and it is very dramatic. If you think we really have a horrible life because we sit on a concrete floor, you can make your life miserable. Even though people scornfully oppose me, I still think that without me this nation would be lost, and that I am important to the rest of the universe. This attitude is where the ideal lies. The more you can make yourself available for the harmony of the rest of the universe, the closer you are to the ideal. Do you believe that? Now we know how the ideal will work in our present life.

What is the ideal way to accomplish your daily chores? The important thing is not the kind of work you do, but the motivation you feel inside. If you feel you do this chore for the sake of mankind and the universe, joyfully and willingly participating, then what you do has value. Who is the happy person-the one who is lazy and does nothing, or the one who is busy? Why is the busy person the happy one? Because the more work you perform, the more you are related to the variety of the world and the more opportunity you have to harmonize with your neighbors. You can work at your leisure and goof off, so why do we always try to do our best? By doing so we can become more central to the rest of the world.

Is it ideal to play or work in that case? Is it better to work in a mediocre way, or with your whole heart and soul? You can half-listen to me, or concentrate 100% on hearing what I say. You can feel that among those listening you will be the champion in carrying out the words. You have to be convinced that what I say is possible, however. The ideal is connected to all practical elements. A good performance is not always praised or recognized, and sometimes instead of being rewarded you are chastised. Which is the ideal? Why do you say it is ideal to be rewarded for a good job? I think it is better to be criticized after doing a good job. No one can subtract from what you did, so by receiving criticism you create a situation where the critic has to surrender to you, and those who praise you can defend the values of what you did. In other words, you can conquer both elements by receiving criticism.

The saints did great work, yet were never accepted in their own time. Because they had the capacity to digest the criticism people dumped on them, history recognizes them and they have a higher reward. When you do the right thing yet the entire world comes against you, it will be your asset because you will acquire the capacity to contain all the elements of the world. I am one example. I am working hard to do the right thing, but because America doesn’t understand this it has opposed me. 1 will digest that criticism, and by doing so I am creating room for all of America to bow down eventually.

What is the ideal kind of work then? It is to do the right thing yet receive criticism instead of praise. When you reason in this fashion, you conclude that you actually have no real adversary in the world. People usually think it is bad to be cursed, but I have found that two kinds of people receive curse words: There is the person who deserves to be criticized, and the person who does good things yet receives abuse from people.

When can we say something is bad? Evil sacrifices others for itself without any righteous purpose, while goodness is self-giving for the public purpose. What is the ideal way of life? In accordance with our definition, we conclude that the ideal way of life consists of giving oneself for the sake of others, even when we are criticized in doing so.

There are even two ways of serving others. One is to do something good yet be criticized. The other is to be totally committed to serving others, even risking one’s life. Which is more ideal? Jesus’ teaching touches this ideal level because he was serious about giving his life for the sake of others. His credo was, “He who would gain his life would lose it, but he who loses his life for my sake will find it.” We conclude that it is ideal to give one’s life.

When Jesus said he was the way, the truth and the life, did he mean he was a small mountain trail, or a superhighway to the Kingdom of Heaven? What kind of truth was he referring to? He meant the truth which the entire universe would embrace. When he said he was the life, did he envision a shivering, miserable life, or a bright, shining life? From what position and authority did he speak this way? In his way of life he lowered himself to serve others. He knew that whoever lowered himself would be lifted up, but whoever tried to elevate himself would be lowered.

When you kick a ball way up in the air, it comes down with great force and rebounds back up high. Is that more ideal, or should it be kicked so high that when it comes down it doesn’t rebound but just disappears into the ground? We can’t imagine such a situation! If you were a ball that was kicked that hard, you would ache all over as you flew into the air, and you would shiver in fear as you plummeted toward the earth again. Hearing this you might think it was the ideal, but the ball would think it was very dangerous! So what is the ideal? The ball is born for that mission, so if he wants to be the number-one ball he has to be kicked hard into the air and rebound back up high again. He will have to last the longest and go the farthest.

Do American young people just want to dance and eat and fritter time away? If so then they only want to have fun for themselves. Does it make any sense to ask, “Why shouldn’t they do those things for themselves? There’s no law which says they have to live for the sake of the world”? Does it make sense to say you are jumping up and down at the disco for the sake of the world?

When you go out fund raising people spit at you, but you wipe their spit away and say to yourself, “I am doing this for the sake of the world.” You make money, but not for yourself; your motivation is to benefit the world. That’s what distinguishes your activity from everyone else’s.

What is the opposite of the ideal? Do we judge whether someone is happy by seeing how rich he is? Can we say that the people who don’t own anything and who have to work hard every day are unhappy? How can we define happiness and unhappiness? No matter how elegant the palace you dwell in, if you live there for yourself and sacrifice others for your benefit then you are sitting in hell. But even if you don’t have a dwelling of your own and you look poor, as long as you are motivated by trying to serve other people you have heaven. Let us examine whether that is true. There are many people who live in luxury, but at night they are anguished over their lives and can’t sleep. In his heart a rich man feels pressure from his society and nation and he feels guilty. It is a kind of self-torture. He has a fight between his conscience, which says he shouldn’t live like that, and his desire to keep his things for himself. There are many rich people who struggle internally each night. Even the walls and ceiling and fine rugs chime in, saying he deserves that anguish. The fine furniture would be saying, “I am not here to please you but to accuse you.”

If you sleep under a bridge in a sleeping bag, what would you see when you open your eyes? The beautiful blue sky and sunshine. The green grass and flowers would make the prettiest hotel room. Even the breeze would be jumping around you. When your conscience is clear you feel that the entire universe is embracing you. In our way of life we don’t feel anguish as we lie in bed at night, but just fall asleep immediately! Who is happier, the anguished rich man, or the person sleeping under the bridge?

During the recent upheaval in Korea most people were uncertain and afraid, but I was always serene and at peace. Even if death is approaching, I am at peace. Who is the happiest then? I was not in Korea out of selfish motivation; I went there for a public purpose. Whatever the mission, I am at peace because I do it with all my effort.

The person who deserves to live in the ideal house is the ideal man or woman. Do you need the ideal house or ideal men and women? We have to concentrate on being ideal men and women, but in many cases you forget to focus on what you should become and worry about what you don’t have. That’s the basic problem. The main cause lies within yourself, yet often you try to blame your environment and circumstances.

In many cases people who join Unification Church think that no one cares about them because everyone else is so busy doing their mission. Then they criticize the Church and say it is manipulating them. If you are a good Moonie then you have no time to eat or sleep or do anything else except your public mission. A crumbling nation and world are at stake, so we don’t have much time to spend on some individual who is uncertain about why he is here. I don’t mean that we shouldn’t care about brothers and sisters, but when you cannot do everything, the priority is to follow the bigger cause first. If a person is totally dedicated to the public cause then he is living the ideal life.

There are many people who say the Unification Church will perish because it doesn’t care about them, but it is the people who make that judgment who will decline. That is because the Church is dedicated to the public purpose, the fundamentally unselfish cause. We teach that we should sacrifice for the public cause, but the person who wants others to sacrifice to take care of him does not understand that. Before you complain, step forward and be a front line soldier who does more than other members and then your constructive criticism might be worthwhile. This is vital for new members to know.

There are many demands on your time. Your have newspapers to deliver, and new spiritual children to take care of, but you have to be out there for the mission. If someone wants you to take time for fellowship, is it ideal or not to tell him that you have to be busy doing your job? The person who is truly dedicated to the public cause will eventually win.

As a tree grows it extends it branches farther and farther. Is this growth the ideal way of life? What if the tree bears no fruit or flowers? A tree normally bears a multitude of flowers, but for whom does it bear them? Would the flowers say they blossom for the tree, or for the sake of harmonizing the universe? Would there be any reason the flowers have to be a certain color for the tree’s sake? The color is necessary to invite the bees and insects, so it is necessary in order to communicate with the rest of the world. In addition the flowers have fragrance. Does the tree need that fragrance to survive? It is there in order to harmonize and communicate with others.

When you see the flowers you impart your happiness and enjoyment of them. In reality the flowers possess their color and fragrance for your joy. When you see beautiful flowers in the garden you want to touch and smell them. That would please the flowers because they want to be touched and appreciated by others. It is this communication and fellowship which makes life more beautiful.

Have you ever seen a plant with green flowers as well as green leaves? Would it make sense? I have always admired how sensible plants are in having flowers of various colors, not just green like their leaves. Some people would just say, “Oh, that’s natural,” but if the leaves are green, why aren’t the flowers green? Imagine all of spring’s flowers being green. Would that be exciting? Perhaps God slipped up and there may be a plant somewhere that has green flowers, but even there you will find some accent of white or red, for instance, that sets it apart.

Flowers impart beauty and fragrance for the sake of others, for the sake of harmony with the universe. In that harmony a fuller life is generated. What color flowers are we in the Unification Church? We want to be a stimulating color, so what color should that be? We also have a Moonie smell. What color and fragrance would God like most? Certainly He would like the Moonie color and fragrance. No matter what other people think, at least one person would come to enjoy our color and fragrance-that is God.

That color and fragrance never change, even in the bathroom, so God would even go there to enjoy it. If you go to hell, God would go there also. Wherever you go, you carry the fragrance and color which attract God. Thus, activity and life is generated wherever you go. That is the purpose of harmony and give and take. Another characteristic of Moonie flowers is that they always blossom at 6 a.m. on Sunday. Where? On the cold concrete floor where you sit down! It is not necessarily bad if your surroundings are drab, because then you will look more vivid. Other people think this is hell but we think it is heaven. The dark circumstances of hell will make you stand out better.

The Chinese character for “ideal” actually depicts a king and a village, so it literally means “king’s village,” or the village where the king dwells. Is a king responsible only for the good of his country, or for both the good and bad? A good king thinks he will let other people take care of the good things while he takes care of the bad situations. God is the King of kings because He thinks He will be responsible for the evil of the world. Because He takes responsibility for the bad things, He is the supremely good king, and all the kings on earth have to bow down to Him.

This particular Chinese character is actually formed of three letters which mean tree, eye and mind. A tree has eyes, which are the buds, and whether located on low or high branches they are all the same. In this case it shows how the mind is thinking of the harmony of the whole tree. The king is concerned for the well-being of everyone in the village. That is the ideal.

What does the ideal mean? God is the subject in this explanation, so God is central to the ideal. The Unification Church goal is to create the ideal house. This should be the ideal of the nation, not just the Unification Church. God’s goal is the creation of the ideal house of the universe. The Unification Church teaches that the Messiah will come to the family, which is the building block of the universe.

Do you have a house or place to live? Your home began with your parents. A husband and wife are there, plus children. Is that all? Does the happiness in a home come merely from having parents and brothers and sisters? Happiness comes when you have harmony in relationships, when there is loving give and take.

A happy home provides an environment where you can express yourself in love. If something joyful happens to you, would you celebrate by yourself or look for someone to share it with? You would look for your loved one to rejoice with; a husband wants to rejoice with his wife, parents with children, children with parents. Is it the ideal situation for children to fight with their parents? Isn’t it more natural for them to want to be with their parents?

A husband and wife are not together for their own happiness, but solely for their children. The relationships of the four position foundation can cover the entire earth; children become parents who have their own children, who in turn become parents, and so forth.

Would any children say it was bad for their parents to call the village and town together to celebrate with them when they are happy? Would they want their parents to share it only with the children instead? My eleven children could conceivably complain in their hearts that their parents spend hours and hours with the Church members instead of having fellowship with the children. If they think so, are they good children? I know that they don’t complain because they realize how hard Mother and I labor to pour out love for the sake of the world. For that reason they appreciate us.

What is the happiness of my children? They are happy because they know that eventually that love will come to them. The people who received the True Parents’ love will eventually pour out their love to the children. If ten people are benefited by me, those people will want to reciprocate by loving my children. If Mother and I spent our time with our children instead of with the members then the members could justifiably complain that I loved only my own family. That is not the way the Unification Church was born. Of course we love our children, but more than our children we love the society, nation and world, and eventually that love will come back to our children. Is my way of thinking true or false? This principle will not change with time, nor its value diminish.

When you love the universe more, you are entitled to receive more and ultimately it will benefit your own children. Ideal parents will expand their love universally. If parents bring great benefit and love to Britain, when the children go there they will be received with love and respect. If the parents love the world, then anywhere the children go they will be welcomed. When people receive much, they always want to reciprocate. When children know that their parents are loving the world, they should not feel neglected, but harbor that realization as their hope.

Suppose a wife wants her husband to pay attention only to her, or a husband wants his wife to ignore their families and pay attention only to him. Such a person deserves hell. I have heard that many American women are that way, and they even look for a man with no family so that he will pay more attention to his wife. A husband or wife is usually jealous if the spouse pays much attention to the rest of the family, resenting the love that person gives to someone else. If the world is like that then is it a hellish or heavenly place?

Women should realize that the ideal husband is he who loves his wife, but loves his parents, brothers and sisters and neighbors as much as he does her. He is not just wasting time with others, but inviting their love for his wife. It is only natural that the love he gives them will come back to her. If you become a daughter-in-law in your husband’s family, you can become a central figure in that home because of the love you give. You can become a queen of love in that house. Any home that violates this principle shall be judged and shall decline. Is this true or false?

Unification Church women are not necessarily pretty, but they are ideal because they have this concept of ideal womanhood, ideal family and ideal love. What kind of husband would you like-the one who has no relatives to burden you, or who has parents and grandparents and great-grandparents? A big family would be an exciting place to go because then you have more objects to love and have fellowship with. By doing so you can receive more love.

This is a very simple principle, but American young people are blind to it. When they are awakened to it, however, a revolution will occur in American homes. Now you know how to be an ideal husband and wife. Suppose your husband disappeared on the first night of your honeymoon, and when you looked for him you found he was having fellowship with his father-in-law, and the next night with his mother-in-law. If you didn’t see him during the entire honeymoon because he was spending so much time with your family, would you complain?

Each night you know where your husband is, but would you feel happy each morning and embrace each person as much as your husband does? If so then truly you are developing an ideal home and everyone will win the position of king and queen of love. Any wife who demonstrates such harmony and unselfish love in her husband’s home will become the queen of that house because everyone will practically worship her.

Is this a universal principle I’m teaching, or just my opinion? Anyone who violates this principle will crumble, not the person who lives by it. The ideal house is a house where the most loving person becomes the central figure. He will create a palace of love.

Why did God prepare the relationships of parents and children, and husband and wife? Because they are miniatures of the universe, in which each person can practice how to love the whole universe. If you become a perfect member of your family, all you have to do is expand your love and the whole universe will be your home. The home is the fundamental unit to practice loving the universe. When you graduate in family love you can build a universal home.

With this outlook a man sees a beautiful young lady as his sister instead of thinking dirty thoughts. It is good if they have pure fellowship all night in that case. With this realization a husband and wife can trust each other deeply, and there will be no misunderstanding whenever one of them meets someone else. The family is a unit that serves as an instructional manual to teach you how to love the universe. If you meet the family’s criteria then you have met the universe’s criteria.

The Kingdom of Heaven in heaven is the place where men and women will live who served all mankind as their brothers and sisters and who made a home where true love was practiced. It is a satanic act for men and women to try to limit or regulate the flow of love. Anyone who violates this principle shall be judged in accordance with it. The family God gives you is your workshop for loving the rest of the world. If you practice that then you have the qualification to enter heaven.

If your husband has unselfish love for humanity, then when you love him you are loving the world; then you are not receiving just one man’s love but a much greater love. This is precisely Mother’s position. I am in a position to be loved by many women from all parts of the world. When Mother sees that and rejoices over it, her own position is increased. Then she can receive my love more and the love of the people will flow to her as well. In that case she is -becoming a greater woman who is entitled to receive the love of the entire world.

When you apply the principle I am describing this morning and expand your love through loving your family, you are loving all mankind and the world. It works both ways. The home is a workshop of love. By knowing how to love your grandparents, you know how to love all the old people of the world. By loving your brothers and sisters you know how to love all the young people of the world. When you love your husband, that is how you can love all the men of the world.

In the miniature world of your home there are all kinds of personalities. Some of them may be sharp and critical, but if you know how to love them then you can love all people like that in the world. You might complain that you have to live with such stingy, pushy brothers and sisters, but by having that opportunity you will know better how to love the negative people of the world. The home is a training ground of love.

Eventually you can conquer not just the world but the entire spirit world and God Himself. When you throw out many fishing lines baited with love, you can catch the whole world on your hooks. The greatest catch will be God. You will reel in one line some day, and discover God on the other end! When you reel Him in He will embrace you and cry out, “My child!” The ideal house is the fishing hole where you can catch all kinds of fish, including spirit world and God. Normally you catch fish with a hook, which hurts the fish, but when you catch someone with a hook of love he won’t feel pain but joy, even if you hook him in the eye.

Those who dwell in the ideal home are ideal men and women because they have this unselfish principle of love. When you enter an ideal house, the woman’s eyes are filled with love; her nose is a lump of love and even her hair is full of love. On every side you perceive love. Do you want that? Is it easy or difficult to practice? Even though it is difficult, when you know the preciousness of love you have energy to do it. Shall we start practicing that love today?

Love unites a separated husband and wife, and heals separations between children, between the nation and the world and the universe. Love has such power. Shall we live that way of life? Wouldn’t you protest that it is too difficult to do? Even though you have an urge to complain, knowing that love will come as the fruit of practicing this you will not have one moment to complain because you will be filled with great joy and enthusiasm.

When I came to America many people misunderstood me and criticized, yet I made no complaint. Did any of you join the Unification Church because you wanted to help me, or did you come out of curiosity? Many people came to see how they could hinder me because they thought I was meddling with the American way of life. Even though they had unhealthy motivation, once they came they were hooked by the love. That love was so tasty that they hung on to the hook!

Now you are Moonies, but when you are persecuted you smile. Are we the enemy or hope of America? How much hope? It is gigantic. There is so much hope here that eventually all Americans will swallow that hook. Once you know this dramatic way of life, in the morning you feel gigantic power and excitement. Without it you feel dead. If you have it then you are the hope of America.

I just returned from Korea, where the President was just assassinated and the entire country is trembling. Because I am a symbol of hope for many people around the world, they were more concerned about my well-being than about events in Korea. Were you concerned? Why? Because you were worried that the hook of love might be taken away from you. When I go to Korea, your heart goes to Korea. When I go to Britain, your heart goes there. That is because everything that depends on sunlight turns in the direction of the sun. You don’t have to be taught; plants don’t have to be taught. They automatically turn to the sunlight.

You have never heard of a minister giving a ten-hour, or even two or three-hour sermon because no one would stay that long. But when I talk for hours you wonder where the time went and keep asking for more. Why? You are hooked with love. All five races are joined here in the exciting task of building the ideal home. That is not my home or your home but God’s home, in which all are entitled to dwell. We are joined together here for tomorrow’s victory in the fulfillment of the ideal home. A new ideology has come which will bring a heightened hope and civilization.

We want to create God’s ideal home. Would you make it the kind of place God goes only reluctantly, or the place where He is excited to go? A place where God is uncomfortable and sits in a corner watching everyone, or where He moves around everywhere with complete freedom?

When you are persecuted and struck, think that you must be able to withstand it so you can make a home where God has complete freedom. Then it is not painful but exciting to receive persecution. When other people curse you then remember that you should be able to embrace even these men and women and tame them so God’s home will be more exciting. Then persecution tastes exciting. Then you are a public person.

We want to make a home so exciting that if you tell God He has to go back He will beg you to be able to stay. Those who would make that house, raise your hands. Would you complain? Would you get discouraged? Who can say they will live up to this new expectation?

Thank you.