God’s Preparation for Our Church, and Its Early Days – Excerpts

God’s Will and the World
God’s Preparation for Our Church, and Its Early Days
May 1, 1977
Excerpts – Unofficial Translation

If I had developed my natural abilities and applied them in a secular way, then I would have been a successful business man, great statesman, or man of renown and fame in any field that I would have endeavored. I would have been successful and respected in an entirely different manner, but I never undertook that direction. Is there anyone who has shed more tears for God than I have? I could have avoided a path of suffering; but, I willingly chose the course of suffering for God’s sake. There were many paths where I would have been welcomed by people with esteem and praise. However, I knew God Himself did not stand in a position to receive praises and esteem in such places.

Do you think that I actually did not have personal ambitions? As a young man I certainly had ambitions and dreams, but I cut them off and closed all those doors. Then I chose the most miserable path for my life. I only wanted to be a friend of God who is lonely and suffering. I understand that you too are walking a path of hardship, like me. But I tell you that you are following the path that I already pioneered in the past. More importantly, we all chose the path of suffering; and are walking the path carrying heavy burdens, only because both you and I came to know God, too well.

You and I are comrades with one thing in common; we put ourselves in a position of suffering only because we know God. If we have ever committed any crime, it is that of knowing God. We willingly chose this path of persecution; nobody has imposed it on us, so how can we complain?

Are we pursuing the wrong way and bringing destruction to the world? Is knowing God a crime? The whole world is in chaos and communism is expanding because people do not know God. The churches are breaking down. No matter how miserable such a life might look, knowing God is a blessing and a privilege, and it is the one thing we cannot ever relinquish.

If I had developed my natural abilities and applied them in a secular way, then I would have been a successful business man, great statesman, or man of renown and fame in any field that I would have endeavored. I would have been successful and respected in an entirely different manner, but I never undertook that direction. Is there anyone who has shed more tears for God than I have? I could have avoided a path of suffering; but, I willingly chose the course of suffering for God’s sake. There were many ways where I would have been welcomed by people with esteem and praise. However, I knew God Himself did not stand in a position to receive praises and esteem in such places.

Do you think that I actually did not have personal ambitions? As a young man I certainly had ambitions and dreams, but I cut them off and closed all those doors. Then I chose the most miserable path for my life. I only wanted to be a friend of God who is lonely and suffering. I understand that you too are walking a path of hardship like me. But I tell you that you are following the path that I already pioneered in the past. More importantly, we all chose the path of suffering; and are walking the path carrying heavy burdens, only because both you and I came to know God too well.

God is weeping
I have tasted prison life, not only under the communist regime but also in free Korea. I can never forget one former member who came up to me when I was being taken to the West Gate [Seodaemun] prison in Seoul. He looked at me and laughed scornfully, “You fool! Are you still doing this stupid thing? Why don’t you graduate from that like me?” I can never forget that man, eternally. At that moment I walked by him in absolute silence, but in my heart I was shouting out to God, “Let me testify to Your righteousness and my obedience to You right now.”

This is just one instance of personal betrayal; there are too many to count. When I close my eyes and start to pray, tears always come forth. I cannot stop sobbing; then I just weep with tremendous pain in my heart. It is because I know the innermost suffering and agony of God. I have experienced so much agony and pain and heartbreak that I know God, and I am in a position to comfort Him. No one understands me. My parents never understood, even my wife and children can never really understand. When no one understands you, you are totally alone in understanding God. You also can be a friend to that lonely God.

I thought so many times how vulnerable and weak a man I became. From some people’s point of view, I am no different than a weak man. However, I know that God trusts and is depending on me. When I feel God’s heart, I just have no way to sit still but am overwhelmed with yearning, to comfort God’s heart by fulfilling His Will.

It is said that in order to become true sons and daughters, you have to inherit the spirit of the Parents. Then, you have to inherit Rev. Moon’s spirit and way of thinking. You will know if you inherit my spirit, if all of a sudden you just burst into tears, feeling such a sense of urgency and sorrow for God, while you are doing your mission. If you become the one who inherits my spirit and live by it, you and your church will definitely prosper by the grace of God. When you receive persecution unjustly, instead of cursing, you will pray to God for blessings to those who persecuted you. By doing so, you will feel God’s heart so close to you as well as sensing the urgent and sorrowful situation of God. Then, every deed of yours becomes holy and divine.

Have you experienced a time when you felt such an urgency and sense of closeness with God that you just embraced a stranger — your heart cried out for the people? There have been many times like that in my own life. So many times I have embraced a tree and wept endlessly when I experienced God’s Sorrowful Heart and the bitter pains of God as a Parent. Such experiences are far more precious than a prayer. When you put yourself in such a miserable position then you will feel God so strongly.

Your personal relationships are the key to everything. You do understand how much I am training and disciplining you, molding your character according to the path that I have gone. I am taking you along that same path so that you will become such a person.

When fund raising, have you ever been kicked, hit, or spit upon by others? Being spit at or hit by a stranger is not that painful to bear. But being spit at or hit by someone who was previously a member and who has now betrayed God is very painful. You will finally taste the heartbreaking and painful experiences of Jesus when you experience these things. Jesus had not only external enemies — the people who physically nailed him down on the cross — but he had internal enemies who betrayed him like Judas.

I have tasted prison life, not only under the communist regime but also in free Korea. I can never forget one former member who came up to me when I was being taken to the West Gate prison in Seoul. He looked at me and laughed scornfully, “You fool! Are you still doing this stupid thing? Why don’t you graduate from that like me?” I can never forget that man. At that moment I did not say anything to him, but in my heart I prayed, “God, give me a chance to testify to how righteous You are, and how I was obedient to You.”

This is just one instance of personal betrayal; there are too many to count. When I close my eyes and start to pray, tears always come forth. I have experienced so much agony and pain and heartbreak that I know God, and I am in a position to comfort Him. No one understands me. My parents never understood, even my wife and children can never really understand. My understanding of God is a lonely understanding. You also can be a companion to that lonely God.

I always feel how vulnerable and weak I am, but I know that God trusts and is depending on me to fulfill. When I see God’s expectation I just have no way to sit still. I feel, “God, You are Almighty. You can do anything You want, but because of Your own precious children’s failure You put Yourself in a position of such suffering. You don’t need to suffer, but You have been helpless, waiting so long for some man You could depend on. God, I really sympathize with You. I understand You.”

If anyone truly knew me internally then he just could not help but be crushed by sorrow. Spiritually enlightened people who can receive revelations and instructions in their prayers say the following. When they pray about me God’s response is always the same; He responds to their prayer is “tears”. When they pray about Rev. Moon, they find God weeping. When God beholds His lonely champion here on earth, God just weeps.

A wise person will go all the way once he has made a commitment; Do not go only halfway or be mediocre, because you will only end up as a loser. If you want to become victorious, then you have to persevere all the way. In doing God’s will, I want to go the fastest way, never being mediocre or half-hearted. For the sake of my followers I took every precaution and checked everything about the Principle two and three times. I wanted to be absolutely sure that this is the true way of God. A true researcher tests and retests to make sure of his results before he announces anything to the world. I have tested this out in every way possible. You can see then what an incredible discovery I have brought to the world.

Since we are committed, we cannot afford to go just halfway. Is this month of May a new beginning, far different from April? Let’s go forward with tremendous excitement. I am waiting for the kind of champion who can defeat me. Many times I am sad, feeling that I cannot afford to die because I know that even at this stage no one is competent enough to inherit my mission. No one has given me that comfort yet. I have given my life to God, but now who will love Him as much as I do? This is my only concern. When I die, who will take care of my God here on earth? I want to see someone emerge who can do that.

Is there anyone who could truly say, “Father, let me take care of your God and my God. You can go”? The person who could live up to that statement would be the center of the mainstream of history and would never perish, but prosper.

I cannot afford to leave the world as it is, destined to more suffering. I must leave behind a world that is being resurrected. People think that after I die the Unification Church will die. Is it true? Would you prefer the movement with me or without me? Indirectly what you are saying is that after I am gone the movement will suffer. As long as I live I want to bear the burden of persecution so that after I leave the persecution will be finished. In my lifetime I want to bring this movement to success.

As your generation reaches its maturity, our movement will soar into prosperity. In my own lifetime I want to take care of all the bitter experiences, suffering and turmoil of restoration. I have already-made up my mind to take the burden with me. How about you? Will you join me in taking care of these, or are you going to wait for the easy time? Do you wish this persecution would go away, or do you welcome greater challenge and persecution? Have you made up your mind already?