The Original I
Reverend Sun Myung Moon
March 3, 1973
First Directors’ Conference
Translated by Mrs. Won Pok Choi
Good morning. My subject this morning is “The Original I, — original ego. When I say “the original I” it means what we are now, as opposed to what we used to be or what we originally should have been.
Then, we must set the standard on a certain person and say, “I must be like that person.” We must have one standard like that. Some of you may think that your parents are the best persons in the whole world and you say to yourself that you must be like your parents. A little later you can find someone far better than your own parents and you think that you should follow the example of that person. As you grow older, you may have to leave your village, leave your town, and get into a bigger society — and you may find a very good person and you may set the standard on that person, saying that you have to be like that person. After a short while again, you will be disillusioned with that man and you will find another man still better than him, and you will say to yourself, “I must set the standard on that man because he is a patriot, he will be recognized by past history, present and by the later generations, too . And then you get to know a person known not only in your own country but by the people of the whole world, and you set the standard on him, thinking that you have to limit yourself to that standard. But you will soon find that person, that very best one whose standard will be passed by God, and then you will be looking for another one. So, in a word, you are looking for the very best one who will unchangeably be the standard.
Having looked around at the people of the whole world, you come to the conclusion that there is no such person, not a single one in the whole world on whom you can really rely. Neither in the Democratic nor the Communist worlds can you find such a one. In past history, people worshipped and respected Confucius, Buddha, Jesus. Our conclusion is that, externally speaking, however hard you try to find such a person, you cannot find one in the whole world. After trying to find such a person in the world other than yourself, then you come to think that you had better find the perfect person in yourself. Then, where does our journey start to find such a one?
We know that in ourselves, there is internal self as well as external self. When you are said to be a person without conscience, you are angry. Since you can recognize your being, your existence, you cannot deny your conscience, inherent in yourself. Before you, you have the whole world at which you can look — but to look into yourself, where are you situated and what is there in yourself?
When we say our original self, it means that what we are is different from what we used to be. I am here, from somewhere else and that is the source of myself or origin of myself. Then which will be more distant, which would be farther to reach out to the whole world, or to reach back to that personage of yours? But the difference and width in comparison, there will be a vast difference between those two. And which is greater? And if you find it greater to find your own self, which you somehow lost in the beginning, then you have to leave all other things in search of that self of yours. This being of higher value, higher dimension, more original, and closer to the source — you have to discard all the rest to find this original self of yours.
Would you not leave all the rest, when you find a person or a thing which is best of all? When you look into yourself, when you look back at yourself, you find that in yourself there is a thing of vast value which is something like the source, the origin, God. The farther you reach out, the more mystery you will be faced with. Well, even though you try to reach out into the world, in its extremity you will meet the source of life there; you are faced with that problem. After going through things visible, you will reach things invisible.
To reach out externally, you will be faced with the question , What is going to be my future; what will the future of the whole world be like?” — and then going back, you question yourself, “What was the origin of our life in the beginning?” Then, toward the future, we would like to predict things, foretell what is coming; and in the present, when we look back, we want to know the origin of our life, we want to search for God.
When we, in everyday life, take delight in finding God there and finding our future in the way of a good prediction, then we can throw away all those things that are left, occurring in our everyday life. Well, the present moment is always important, but unless we solve the problem for those two things — God and our future, our destination — we cannot quite take delight in our everyday life. We are at the crossing junction, and we don’t know what happened in the beginning or what will be happening in the future. Then, in which would you take most delight or of which would you think most highly: past, present or future? You say “future,” but can any future come about without the present moment, and can the present moment not be the crops or fruit of the past?
Then which must be the most valuable? Which must be the wisest one? The one which is trying to find value in the past, in the present, or in the future? When we think that the beginning is the origin and the future is the destination, well, how can you put more value in the present? Unless we solve this problem, we cannot think of our present moments as valuable, and we will think, “Well, what is our life at all? I don’t want to live and I don’t like this to happen, and I don’t like that to happen,” and you will be disillusioned with your own life. Isn’t that true? Then, what on earth is our original self? Well, both in the past and in the present, there are many people there, there have been many people there, so on whom are we going to set the standard? There has been male and female, old and young. If you put more stress on the male being, the female being will feel disillusioned; if you are going to put more stress on the female being, the male being will be disillusioned. If you are going to put more stress on the older people, the younger people will be disillusioned, and vice-versa. And if you put more stress on the past, what is the future at all? If you are going to put more stress on the future, well, then does our past have no value? You come to even greater vagueness and disillusionment.
With your original self found, you should be able to know clearly, what is the origin and what is the past, present and future of human life. Don’t you think so? Then, in human terminology, what should it be, or how can you define that? We must say that the beginning and the end must be equal, the same, and our life should be eternal. When we think a certain person is a bad person, well, we must be able to know his past and find out that he used to be — he has once been — a good man. And if you find a good person and see that that person will never change, but will be eternally good, you will cherish that person, treasure that one. People came to be evil because they changed in the beginning. So, if you find a good person and you think that he will never change, you will say that man is really a good man. So, things never change from the original, as defined by God to be good. We can trust, we can believe in unchangeable things. We cannot trust changing things. (He only said the first part, and he thinks I am going ahead of him … saying all the rest of the things.) We say things about belief or disbelief, but belief is in something unchanging and disbelief is in something changing. We can decide on what is evil and what is good from that.
Then, what is our original self? That must have been something unchanging — therefore, something believable, something of value, something good and right, something of existence. That must be the truest thing and the truest thing will never change. We think that gold is precious — what makes it precious? Gold is precious because nothing can vanish its glow and it will never change from the original color. A diamond is the most precious stone, because it is shining and it is the hardest stone in the whole world; nothing can excel its hardness. It is harder than anything else, so we can set the standard of hardness on that stone alone, nothing else. Then, what is one’s original self? That is the source of one’s self, being unchanging, and being the standard of one’s self, through eternity. If our original self is such, then where can we find our self? After having found out our own self like that, it can never change and no one can invade there. If that is eternal, unchanging and unique, nothing or no one can invade there and we must be sure of that. There can be no such thing as a Fall there. Is that true? [YES!]
Then, when we find ourselves having fallen, then we can realize that we are far from our original self. Then, in what manner can we define our original self? Again, I must say, our original self must be unchanging. It must be true, it must be unique, it must be eternal. Being unchangeable, it won’t vacillate, it won’t sway, and it is going to keep the original condition, all the way through. If that kind of person is found, every other person will treasure that person and will try to be like that person. When you evaluate anything, well, if you find that thing is unchanging and has eternal value, you want to have that, more than that … if you know that this thing is the only thing in the whole world, you will want to possess it. And, if you find that this thing will never change through eternity, you will cherish this thing even more. And, if you find that this thing is the standard of everything else and a measure for everything else, so you can measure other things according to this standard, you will take more delight in this thing. If there is anything like this, then you can safely define that this is the original thing or source thing. Don’t you think so? [YES!]
Your own eyes would be anxious to see such a person. If your eyes had minds they would be anxious to see that kind of a person most of all. Your nose would take delight in smelling that person, your hands would like to touch that person, your ears would like to hear his voice, the voice of that person. But, is there any such person, any such thing at all in the whole world? [YES!]
I have so long been in search of that kind of person, that kind of thing, but I have never met one yet. [Laughter] Then, what shall we do? Well, if you cannot find such a person in the present world, we have to go back in search of that person. We can well imagine from what we now have in the present moment that in the future we can never find such a person, so we must turn back and on the way back we are going to search for the original type of person. We cannot find that value in our own selves at the present moment. So, we must set out in search of our own self, our original self. From the fact that we are somehow in search of something, we can imagine, we can gather, that we have lost something and there must be something in the origin that we individually lost — and so that motivates us, that is motivating us to set out in search of something lost there. From this point of view, even in hypothesizing, we must define that there is some one, ultimate being in the beginning. If and when we say there isn’t someone in our hypothesizing, even in hypothesizing we want to have that being in reality, and if there is such a being as God, in reality, what would you do? We are not only imagining or fancying God to be there, but God is there in reality — and then you will be ready to throw away all the rest of the things in search of God, would you not do that? If you are told that by believing in God alone you can meet Him, then you will do that. When you are told that God is unchanging, and you want to resemble Him, and only when you are an unchanging person can you meet God (or that person), and you want to become an unchanging person; and if you are told that you can meet that person only by doing righteous things according to that ultimate standard, you will try desperately to do that. If you can imagine that there be such a being, and you can put everything of value there, and you can imagine that he is the truest one, the most loving one, unchangeable one, unique one and eternal one; and you want to be like that; and without resembling him, you cannot find him, then, you are desperate to bring yourself to that standard. You are safe and sure that if you become like that, you can meet the subjective being, because you are in his image, you want to resemble him. By your being that, he’s forced, destined, to like you, to love you. Well, if you have the experience of having children, wouldn’t you love the children when they resemble you in many ways? Even externally, if one of your children resembles you more, then he loves you more than any others would. Then, wouldn’t you love him all the more?
Well, walking on the street, if you meet someone resembling one of your neighbors who has been so kind to you, your attention is immediately focused on that person, isn’t that true? If the person you meet with on the street resembles very much your beloved one, you wouldn’t want to let him go, you would follow him and look at him from the back, from the side, from the front. If that person resembles you, you find that person is just a copy of yourself, what would you do? You feel immediately close to him. You would want to walk with that person, you would want to bring that person into a restaurant to eat, and you would want to chat with him, sleep with him, live with him. And, later on, if you find that person to be like you in his way of thinking, way of saying things, way of acting out things, you feel even closer to him. If you find that person likes you better than you do him, you will love him. Then you are going to be a slave to him in love, and you will do whatever you are told to do by him. Isn’t that true? [YES!]
If that is true with you, even in the worldly sense, if there be such an ultimate absolute being as such, all the rest of the problems will be solved. Then, to be united with him, to become one with him, is to resemble him; and second, after having resembled him, you two will like each other. Love comes next, he says. Then love will be there, even though you may say you don’t like that. Love will automatically be there, even though you say you don’t like that. Isn’t that true? If there be any such existence, such being, such ultimate one, he would cry out to you, “Resemble me, resemble myself.” He will cry out to you, “Be unchangeable, be eternal, be unique. And after resembling me, don’t stay there like a stone, come closer to me and love me.” Isn’t that true? Exactly? [YES!]
Then, it is clear to you what our original self must be like. Isn’t that true? Then, try to compare yourself to that standard: in how many ways or how many points are you on that standard? We have five senses. Do your eyes long to see that kind of person, that kind of being? Do your nostrils want to smell him? Would your mouth want to speak to that person? Would your ears be attentive to hear his voice? [YES!]
If you find that kind of person in human society, would you cling to him or would you let him go? If the whole world pushes him away, what would you do? Would you cling to him? [YES!] Without letting him go? You know better than I do. Would you be like him, then? [YES!]
You must see things according to that standard, according to that man. You must smell things according to that standard. You must not be thinking of anything else, saying anything else — but acting out things, those kinds of things alone, nothing else, through eternity. That is our goal. Once I believe in something, I want to believe in something eternal. You must set your standard on that level and you can pour out your whole energy, your whole being. Have you been thinking of that? Only after having heard him, you say, “Oh, he is right, I must do that.” From that viewpoint, well, your faith in something has been ephemeral and false. You must first be able to find your original self. So, you must deny your present self. You must hate your present self, you must be ready to discard what you are now. If you really understand and realize that your present self is not what you used to be-not your original self — would you be unwilling to throw away your self, deny your self? After joining this movement, your old boyfriend or girlfriend would cling to you — and as soon as you find something more valuable here, something eternal and unchanging and unique here, well, you will feel no agony in discarding that person. Would that be any problem to you at all? Really, no? [NO!]
Then, you are better than myself. There is no more to be said. [ Laughter] If and when we restore our original self like that, we can cry out to the whole world: “Here am 1, capital I! ” Wouldn’t you long to have that “I” restored in your self? Have you ever stopped to imagine “How wonderful that ‘I’ must be after I have restored those elements in myself”? After having restored that self of ours, our five senses will want to dance in the sensation, and our eyes will see what we have not been able to see. Our ears will be able to hear what we have not been able to hear. Clairvoyance and clairaudience will be developed more than radio or television. And, if there is love added to that, well the world will be bright and will be yours, will come under your position. Then, the whole world will come in harmony with our five senses. And in that world we are going to be the subjects.
Well, we have another subject, God, but we can say that “God is in me, God is abiding in me, I am the ultimate subject of the whole world.” In that case, even though you may want to throw away God, He will cling to you. He would want to live in you. God will hate to leave you. Can you imagine that kind of self, the original self of yours? If there is the possibility of restoring yourself like that, would you not throw away all the rest of the things, and try to find your own self, like that? Would you try to find yourself like that? [YES!]
I am confident in saying that there is such a self of yours. You can find it out and you can restore that. I want you to certainly believe in what I am saying now — and why don’t you set out in search of yourself? Well, would you make speedy effort for that, like the astronaut in the rocket reaching the moon — Apollo 11 ? Would you be like that man? Would you like to reach that place in a minute, or by taking so many hours and so many days? Well, get ready to start and with full speed ahead — if there be a God, you will hit against Him until He will be broken to pieces.
If you set the goal and try to reach it at full speed, then He will never dodge out of the way. If you were God, would you stop that person and cry out, “Don’t come to me”? Would you say that? Well, you are in the baseball game and there comes the balk-In hitting that ball would you do this or this? When you catch the ball, too, you don’t do this, but like this. In receiving anything good, you try to turn about or try to make circular motion. God will do the same. When He receives you, He will hug you and try to turn around. In turning around, if you turn at the full speed, you will either go up or come down. [I don’t understand, so how can I interpret? — Mrs. Choi] Well, He will either welcome you or you will hit against Him all of a sudden and He will be delighted or be in fear of you ; and at that moment, He will whirl around and you will either go up or come down, in the motion of the whirl. But, can you imagine that He will be in fear of you? Either this or that happens, but He will welcome you. He will be intoxicated in joy and this alone will make God hilarious. If you like or love a person, would you embrace him or throw him away? You want to squeeze that person until he falls to pieces and you wouldn’t stay still but you would turn around in the motion of dancing. If you can make God like that, how wonderful it would be. If there is a God, and if I can make God like that, in meeting Him, and it can be done only after my having resembled Him — well, I will do this more than anything else. And you set out on a journey to find the self which resembles God, your original self; and in that case you can move God, and God would cling to you and wouldn’t let you go, and you wouldn’t let Him go — and if that is possible, how wonderful it is going to be, and I want you, in deep belief, to set out on a journey for that, to find yourself. In that case, you are the real son of God, and even though you may say to him, “I am better than you, Father,” He will be delighted.
The original nature of the human being is to attain that standard, and you can never deny that you are so greedy as to want to be that. Well, some of you may think, “Oh, Master is a man of imagination, a man of hallucination, or something like that.” Well, even though it may be imagination, it is true according to the theory. If it is logical, why don’t you try that? It will come true, if it is logical. If it is theoretical and theoretically logical, you can make it true. Don’t you see that? [YES!]
Well, a strange thing is happening here. This man, Mr. Moon, well, shorter in height maybe than some of you, many of you here, and he is just an Oriental man, not more so-and-so than other people. But, anyone, if he has a clear conscience, is drawn to him, attracted to him; people from the East and from the West, old and young, they like him — and if some are specially attuned, they know, they can see, that the whole spirit world, all spirit beings, you know, are affected by him and they minister to him, and they are anxious to follow him wherever he goes. Are you that way? [YES!] Even though you may not be that way, I am not worried about that. Because, sooner or later, you will be that, I know.
There is something strange, which you cannot quite define in him — and so you want to follow him, you are drawn to him. True or not, even though that may not be true with him, if you find him in your vanguard, anxiously in search of God, and he has the capability of reaching that goal, would you not follow him? [YES!] He will cry out to you, but his shouting will be different from the battle cry. He will shout in glorious joy, and joy will be there quite clear — at the point of the goal, and you will dash, you will be ready to dash to the goal, If, at the goal you are sure you can meet that kind of reality, won’t you try to go there at full speed — and you will think it will not be enough? At the cost of everything, you will want to be able to locate that reality, and if you meet him there, you will be glad that you have discarded everything else, won’t you? [YES!]
If you think of that, if you can imagine that, and if your imagination is so strong as to deny all the rest of the things, you can make it a reality. Only by finding our original self can we reach that point, and only by resembling God can we meet Him; so if we know this fact, we will be desperate to obtain that goal. We cannot but be desperate in our efforts. You must be doing this at the cost of your own life. Unless you are ready to find this, to try to find this at the cost of your own life, you cannot find your life there, new life. In making a trade, if there is a person who is so stingy as not to be willing to invest the money: “This is all the money I have and I have gone through such difficulty in making this money, how can I let it out? I am not willing to invest this money.” And, you want to keep this money — how can you earn more money by making the trade? Well, if you are sure that you can progress after having done this, having restored yourself, having met and possessed God; and if you know what will happen after that, aren’t you willing to use up everything you have, throw away or invest everything you have, including your own self? In running in a circular motion, would you not rather make the global action, and then if you turn or run at the full speed like this, surrounding the whole world, then there is no place else to come to the nuclear point. If you turn at full speed, like this, you finally come to the nuclear point, central point, in global motion, and set yourself on the axis, where you can turn the whole world. Which would you rather be? To turn the whole world ‘ to run encircling the whole world? And to do this through eternity, would you like to do that? [YES!] Then, go out and do that — I will watch you. After having done that, you will not have done that in vain. You will find that — and I am sure you will be glad you have done that. This is my conclusion.